Hardball Dynasty - Cobb Times Herald

Interview with jvford

2012-01-22T07:01:00.002-05:00

After exhaustive study and meticulous research, the Cobb Herald has recently learned that the Pawtucket G-Maniacs have recently gone through a change of ownership. How this coup d'etat managed to occur so stealthily may be a mystery forever. But, now that the deed has been exposed, it is the duty of this publication to reveal the heart and soul of this owner through a hard hitting interview to see just what make jvford tick.

Any advice for tdfactory – the newest member of the AL North?

-Don't worry about winning the division. It's perfectly acceptable to settle for a WC run when you're in a division with me.

If you are JVFord, when do you make varsity?

-Well, if I haven't made it by now, I don't really think I have much of a shot.

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

-Examical?

What is your favorite breakfast food and why should we care?

-Oatmeal. And nobody should care because it's what everyone eats for breakfast, right?

Which pitcher do you dread facing the most?

-Any of the Tampa starters.

Any Addictions, Disease or Other Destructive Behaviors?

-You mean besides HBD? I guess my enjoyment of options trading could qualify as an addiction.

Did Jesus get as tired of Tim Tebow as the rest of us or did he just suck Vs. New England?

-Actually, I think God's a football fan and got tired of Jesus screwing around with the game.

Hypothetical question. ' Say, there's something in a person's past that if it got out, would cause harm to certain football coaches at a large State University. Would it be wrong to place a wager against that team.....then file charges, or the other way around?'

-Based on the few times I tried it, any gambling on college football is wrong.

Can you comment on the rumor that you were “involved” in pieo’s disappearance this season?

-"Unless you have specific information backed up by irrefutable evidence, please refrain from discussing any possible involvement of my client in pieogate....or we may be forced to take legal action." -Johnnie Cochran, Jr. Attorney for jvford

Which Cobb owner have you trade-raped the most since joining this league?

-I think all of my deals were for high priced vets, so none of the deals look as good for me a few seasons later. But I did really like the deal for Dorian Woolf. Now if only I can acquire a stud 200 inning RP for a pupu platter. ;-)

You’re filling in you’re lineup card, who do you bat cleanup – Angelina Jolie? Or Scarlett Johanssen? And what position does she field?

-AJ.....and she pitches. Seems like she's a competitive bitch who's not afraid to throw inside. But I'd rather bang SJ.

Funaki spent virtually his entire career with the G-maniacs, hitting over 500 HR’s and achieving a career OPS of .888. What was the real cause of the breakup?

-He was looking for a LT deal and my stat guys told me his production was going to fall off drastically after this season. Sounds a little cold-hearted, but sometimes you have to make the tough decisions. I wish him luck.

Steamers move east

2012-01-19T23:38:00.002-05:00

CLEVELAND (AP) -- A Cleveland judge has ratified a binding agreement between outgoing Steamers owner Pieo and his former wife Pia in their divorce case.
Superior Court Judge Scott Gordon on Thursday signed off on the settlement reached in November that calls for Pieo to pay his ex-wife $131 million by the end of April.
Pieo and Cobb Baseball agreed late last year that the Steamers and the team's media rights would be sold. The team filed for bankruptcy protection in December after the league rejected a television contract with Fox.
Among those who have expressed interest in buying the Steamers is a group that includes grissom97 who has already made arrangements to move the franchise to the east coast. Says new owner Grissom97, "This team and this city both need a fresh start, and that isn't going to happen as long as we remain in this community"
The franchise was welcomed at the Hartford airport by a strange man in a trenchcoat with a disturbing smile plastered on his face. The unidentified fan simply muttered a single phrase over and over again . . . "i can't believe he's finally gone . . . I can't believe he's finally gone . . ."

You Thieving Bastards!

2011-10-22T16:23:00.000-04:00

Kiko B. Real - Cobb Times Herald

Steals, swipes, SB's, whatever you want to call them there are few players in Cobb world history who have been able to steal a base with regularity. To date, there are only 5 members of the 800 club, all elite base stealing artists who have used the fine art of theft to record their place in history. In honor of Charlie Erving's eventual move into the top spot this season, today we are profiling the five top base swipers in Cobb history.

5. Marc Reagan - 800 Stolen Bases

Marc Reagan
none
none
Age: 37	B/T: L/L
Born: Middle Island, NY
Position(s): CF/CIF/2B/OF/DH
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Bugs Moran

When asked which famous thief he most identified himself with, Reagan chose the notorious 1920's gangster Bugs Moran. "Of course Bugs Moran is my thieving idol," he said, "for crying out loud, Bugs was the inventor of the drive-by, I mean, can you think of any more allegorical term for base swiping? He was the inspiration behind my trademarked machine gun spray celebration every time I stole a base. And it is a testament to my tommy gun and base stealing abilities that I never ran out of bullets."

Reagan spent the bulk of his career with the Jackson Pollocks, and stole a career best 87 bases in season 10. He was never an all star at the ML level, but was a notorious clubhouse prankster, and a great teammate by all accounts. "I remember the time he put itching powder all over Woody Oleruds bed (a notorious neat freak at the time) and told him that it was probably bedbugs. That was a riot!," reminisced former Pollocks SP Tori Person.

4. Alfredo Cruz - 801 Stolen Bases

Alfredo Cruz
none
none
Age: 35	B/T: L/L
Born: Mineral, VA
Position(s): LF/DH
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Al Capone

Cruz had a very quick answer when describing his favorite thief of all time. "Al Capone, because he gunned down Bugs Moran," Cruz explained, "You see, I never liked Marc Reagan, especially that stupid tommy gun business. There is no place for that on the baseball field. I vowed I wouldn't retire until I was insurmountable in my stolen base total, and once I reached my goal of 801 steals, I did it. Now he will always be looking up at me in the rankings."

The mercurial Cruz, who spent only 7 seasons in the major leagues, is also the single season base stealing leader, posting 211 stolen bases in season 8, a number that will likely never be topped. "He was kind of a jerk, but man could he run," remembered SP Ralph Hill of his days in Scranton with Cruz. "I think he was kind of offended by players like Marc Reagan showing off and thinking they were all that, when he was busy doubling their stolen base totals." Cruz ultimately tired of playing baseball after being played at 1B for several seasons and then being demoted to the minors for "not posting a high enough OPS" by what he called the "idiot Bill James Moneyball Bastards" in the front office of the Philadelphia franchise at the time.

3. Al Rosario - 842 Stolen Bases (Active)

Al Rosario
Pawtucket
G-Maniacs
Age: 34	B/T: L/L
Born: Millers Creek, NC
Position(s): RF/1B/LF/DH
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Robin Hood

Rosario likes to compare himself to Robin Hood when it comes to thieves. "I really like him because not only did he steal for good and all that stuff, but he was more than just a thief. He was a ladies man with Maid Marian, could shoot a mean longbow, and used to be a knight under King Richard. I would like to think of myself as a baseball version of that, I can do many things on the field, not just steal bases."

Indeed, Rosario is more than just a base stealing threat, having popped nearly 300 HR's in his career, is a 4 time all star, World Series Champion, and former Silver Slugger RF. His top basestealing year though came in Iowa City during season 14 when he pilfered 93 bases for the Corn Dogs. He is still plying his trade for the Pawtucket G-Maniacs, and while his speed has slowed down, (only 50 SB's last season) he is still a very productive bat and veteran presence in the G's lineup.

2. Charlie Erving - 881 Stolen Bases (Active)

Charlie Erving
San Francisco
Earthquakes
Age: 33	B/T: R/R
Born: Hatch, NM
Position(s): 2B/CIF/OF/DH
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Kaiser Söze

Erving is primed and ready to take over the top spot in Cobb all time stolen bases, needing only 7 more to reach that lofty height. He compares himself to Kaiser Söze, saying, "You never know I have stolen a base until you look over to 1st and see that I am already gone." Indeed, Erving is the best base stealer to date in Cobb, and still has several years of good baseball left in him. "It is my goal to steal 1000 bases, and become the first player in Cobb history to reach that mark," Erving also remarked.

His Earthquake teammates describe Erving as a humble and quiet fellow, but fiercely driven. "I came up through the system with him at the same time, and if it weren't for the fact that you could see him you would never know he is standing there," said teammate Andres Tatis of Erving, "He's a pretty complex fellow though, he watches foreign films and stuff like that, and even reads the Guardian. I mean, what other baseball player do you know that reads a British newspaper?" The multiple all star and silver slugger might not let you know it, but he certainly respects the milestone he is about the reach, and the man who currently owns it.

1. Emmanuel Castillo - 888 Stolen Bases

Emmanuel Castillo
none
none
Age: 37	B/T: R/R
Born: Bani, DO
Position(s): LF/1B/DH
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Pancho Villa

When it comes to base stealing threats, there has been nobody in Cobb like Hall of Famer Emmanuel Castillo. One of the greatest leadoff men to play the game, Castillo compared himself to Pancho Villa, the Mexican revolutionary general. "I would like to think of myself as a great man, such as Villa, a hero to his people, who fought for what was right, and was a noble thief. I stole the bases for the good of my team, but would do whatever it took to win, that was my role, just as Villa," said Castillo.

Indeed, Castillo may soon be surpassed by Erving at the top of the list, but it will take some doing for Erving to surpass Castillo as a leadoff man and historical threat. In addition to his stolen bases (4 seasons with 100 or more), Castillo scored 1,639 runs, was a 4 time all star, and a World Champion. "Emmanuel was a class act," said former Corn Cleat teammate Ben Harris, "and as good a player to play the game as there was. Having him and Marino Sierra at the top of the order was something to see, it was like watching two cheetahs flying around out there on the bases!"

When asked about Eving breaking his record, Castillo was contemplative, "It will be hard to lose my place at the top, but time passes and the game changes, and it was bound to happen eventually. Really though I am just glad it wasn't Marc Reagan, that tommy gun business was bush league, and Erving is a class act."

Season 21 World Series Preview

2011-10-10T16:31:00.000-04:00

Lars the Greek - Special to Cobb Times Herald

Lars the Greek is back from his hiking trip into Afghanistan and subsequent 4 year imprisonment in Iran to offer you the Season 21 World Series preview. This year we have the slightly above average NL East champ Wichita Wankers versus the AL West champ Tacoma Jerry Gang in a battle of fighting 4 seed wildcard warriors. Both teams have ridden some stellar playoff play to the title round, and one lucky owner will end their long suffering playoff drought, as between these two there have been four previous World Series appearances with no hardware to show for it. So who will lose the least and luck into their title? Read on and find out!

Wichita Wankers
--The Wankers certainly didn't expect to be in this position, as they announced a rebuilding effort at the start of the season, and traded star Dorian Woolf at the trading deadline for prospects. Yet some potent weapons still remain on the team, first and foremost SP Davey Silva. Once again the future HOFer has been unhittable in the playoffs, and has been able to help dominate a short series to get Wichita to the final round. If he can get support from just one other pitcher it is possible he could win three games all by himself. In the lineup there certainly has been an unexpected hero in George Sears, who has been on fire in the playoffs, supporting Carlton Nelson and Vic Flores admirably. But it has really been a group effort for the Wankers, with nobody outside of Silva and Sears truly distinguishing themselves.

Tacoma Jerry Gang
--The Jerry Gang have proven their mettle in this playoff year, defeating the always tough Cleveland Steamers and the up and coming KC Seether on the way to the finals. Juan Javier has been a house of fire for the lineup, with 6 HR's and 17 RBI's, and is clearly the driving force for run production for the offense. The pitching has been led by a balanced rotation featuring no pitcher with more then 2 wins. But Al Gomez certainly could have had some more with better run support, has he has posted a 1.00 ERA and a .81 WHIP in 27 IP in the playoffs, but with only 2 wins to show for it. He has been unhittable and could be the foil to Silva.

Lars Key to the Series
--On paper Tacoma has the better lineup, and Lars thinks that will show over time. But Wichita has Davey Silva, whose numbers speak for themselves. A lot will be asked of the Wichita ace if he is to earn his first World Series ring. All it takes is one loss and suddenly Tacoma will be in the drivers seat regarding pitching matchups. Silva has to be perfect, and if he is Wichita will win. If not, the Wankers will be looking on as Tacoma denies them their championship for the fourth time.

Lars Crystal Ball
--Lars wants to say that the Tacoma Jerry Gang will win, as their team is clearly more talented top to bottom. But something about the Wankers this season is shining a bright beacon through his crystal ball. The Wankers cannot be denied, and this is the year they will finally win, proving yet again in Cobb that a wild card team can be deadly in the playoffs. Wankers in 6.

Commish vs ex-Commish: HOF Smackdown II

2011-07-24T06:56:00.001-04:00

It would be reasonable to ask – why do we need yet another catcher in the Hall of Fame? However, while Eddie Helms is a guy who may not have the flashy home run totals of Jones and Stanton, he was clearly a dominant force in his day, at his position and he has a World Series ring to show for it. On top of that, his career average of .320 is far and away better than Jones .280 and Stanton’s .267. Helms’ OPS of .937 is clearly superior to Jones’ and Stanton’s .906 and .862, respectively. Oh, and there’s this little thing called defense, fairly important for a catcher apparently. Helms has a superior CERA to either Stanton or Jones and threw out a higher percentage of baserunners than Stanton. It’s no coincidence that at the “helm” of the Anaheim Sharks, Eddie led the charge to playoff appearances in 10 of 13 seasons, but the Sharks have only done better than 3rd in their division once since his departure in S16. For serious students of the game, this really shouldn’t be a question.

Eddie Helms
none
none
Age: 39	B/T: R/R
Born: Sonora, TX
Position(s): C/DH
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Eddie Helms isn't a name that most people in Cobb are familiar with, and there is a good reason why. It's because he wasn't one of the best catchers to ever play the game, merely one of the good ones. If Patrick Stanton and Vernon Jones saw that Helms was elected to join their number in the Hall, I am pretty sure they would have to send a beatdown committee to visit the voters who put him there. Simply look at the awards, 6 AS appearances to Jones and Stantons 8; 3 Silver Sluggers to Jones and Stantons 4, less runs, hits, RBI, and HR's in similar games played. Quite simply, Helms just doesn't measure up to Jones and Stanton, who are the gauge by which all catchers in Cobb should be measured when being considered for the Hall of Fame.

Commish v. ex-Commish: HOF Smackdown

2011-07-22T19:07:00.003-04:00

Part I of a two part series to inform and educate around a couple potential HOF candidates. Feel free to comment for either case! (Especially mine!)

First on the block: Marino Sierra

Marino Sierra
none
none
Age: 39	B/T: L/L
Born: Puerto Piritu, VE
Position(s): LF/1B/DH
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FW - For all you young Turks out there who may not have been around the league during the good old days of seasons 1 through 10, you might not be familiar with Marino Sierra, who along with Fred McConnell was perhaps the most feared leadoff man in the early days of Cobb. At the time of his retirement he had nearly 2500 hits, hit for high average and got on base at an impressive clip, scored over 1,600 runs, was the all time leader in doubles at 578, hit nearly 300 HR's, and had over 500 SB's. When you take into consideration that he did this playing over half of his games in the pitchers parks in Omaha and Sioux Falls, those numbers have more meaning. Furthermore, his 529 stolen bases are even more impressive because before season 8, the SIM engine hideously lowered the amount of stolen bases by players in HBD. If Sierra had played in modern times, he would have been a 80+ base swiper every season. He may have never won an MVP, but when you are in your prime and play the same position in the same league as the legendary Jose Barrios, MVP's just aren't going to go your way. Despite this, Sierra still managed 6 AS appearances and 2 Silver Slugger LF's at the same time Barrios was manning that position! Don't hold it against Sierra that he was in his prime when the SIM engine and Jose Barrios were trying to keep him down, he's one of the all time greats of the early days of Cobb and deserves to be in the Hall of Fame. Furthermore, and on a serious note, there isn't a single leadoff man in the Cobb Hall of Fame currently, and that is a trend that needs to change. Just because a player hasn't hit 500 home runs doesn't mean he doesn't deserve a spot. Players like Sierra and McConnell have earned their place.

dwool - Oh, Nate. You lovable hayseed. Sure Sierra was good, but this is the Hall of Fame, not the Hall of Very Good. At the end of the day we need to ask ourselves, was this player elite? A champion? In his era, was he a dominant force at his position? And here my friend, we have to acknowledge a couple key points, first NO RINGS. As good as he was, he didn’t pick his team up, put them on his broad, manly shoulders and carry them to the promised land. Second, there are a couple gentlemen by the names of Jose Cervantes and Hades Booker who also patrolled the outfield in the early days of Cobb, who are patiently waiting for the call – and both are flashing World Series rings and similar or better OPS. Once those guys are in, let me know and I’ll give Sierra another look.

Rounding Second and Heading for Third

2011-07-21T21:29:00.002-04:00

The last installment of beat reporter wihargo's FA analysis centers on potentially available second and third basemen. When bidding, always remember, fortune favors the bold!

Brad Mann is surrounded by questions this offseason: will his glove force a move off of 2B? will he be the next player to receive the max deal? The answer in both cases depends on how much teams value his elite bat.

Angel Vazquez still has good plate discipline and might have one more useful season in him. Lynn Curtis is a dependable defender at 3B and effective against LHP.

Mark Bigbie, still looking to recover his power stroke, might decide to go out on top and retire after winning the World Series.

Brad Mann 0.403 5.69
Angel Vazquez 0.340 2.89
Frank Hartgraves 0.336 2.64
Lynn Curtis 0.344 2.53
John McGowan 0.330 2.36
Jack Carpenter 0.328 2.25
Joel Valentin 0.317 1.71
Garret Wells 0.280 1.47
Giomar Julio 0.314 1.41
Mark Bigbie 0.293 1.37
Wilfredo Henriquez 0.311 0.96

Flashing the Leather

2011-07-20T19:21:00.002-04:00

No, we're not talking about another night of debauchery for FW_Kekionga at the local cowboy watering hole. No, we are talking about those defensive wizards who will quietly win games - usually by making the difficult look routine. According to our beat reporter:

The best of this group is very good; the rest is medicore but useful. Charles Reese has won 3 CF silver sluggers and is a perennial 20/20 man. Lorenzo, who also blends power and speed, has been an All Star at short and has hit for the cycle twice. Bonilla is probably the best SS available in free agency, and is also a 5 time All Star.

Alberto Gutierrez is a rangy fielder while D'Angelo Romero is the prototypical sure handed vet. Both might have to transition to a platoon or bench role this season.

Charles Reese 0.385 5.32
Erubiel Bonilla 0.360 4.21
Fernando Lorenzo 0.337 3.32
Willie Gandarilla 0.317 1.66
Alberto Gutierrez 0.302 1.62
Luther McNamara 0.291 1.56
D'Angelo Romero 0.301 1.55
Odalis Ramirez 0.292 1.18
Pedro Sojo 0.274 1.08
Raymond Sanford 0.324 1.07
Edwin Ward 0.278 1.01

Get 'em before your rival does or you'll regret down the home stretch.

Catch Me If You Can!

2011-07-19T21:54:00.002-04:00

So you say you want to enhance your staff? (don't worry Kid - not naming names!) No better way than to add one of these capable receivers to your franchise. Get settled into your crouch and check out the dish on these potential FA's!

Several top catchers are available this off season. Serafini and Scalici are both above average bats who have won silver sluggers. Lowry and Mairena are good choices for teams that need an offensive minded back-up catcher. Juan James had a .336 wOBA against LHP last year.

w/OBA WAR
Reggie Serafini .346 4.16
Ron Scalici .352 3.47
JP Wilfredo .330 3.21
Rich Perez .348 3.12
Sammy Hunt .321 3.08
James Lowry .379 2.85
Juan James .309 2.21
Al Lee .312 2.09
Louie Mairena .343 1.81
Vince Ferguson .300 0.880

Not Quite Franchise Cornerstones

2011-07-18T14:02:00.005-04:00

A quick look at potential FA corner outfielders reveals that no more than a quick look is necessary.

Randy Rose and Yamid Mairena both have three consecutive 20 HR seaons and lead a relatively weak crop of free agent corner OFs. Darrin Barkley may have lost a step but his contact, bunting and baserunning skills could make him useful to the right team.

Player wOBA WAR
Randy Rose 0.348 3.16
Darrin Barkley 0.350 2.81
Yamid Mairena 0.339 2.50
Luis Nunez 0.351 1.94
Babe Williams 0.328 1.72
Tanner Carillo 0.325 1.72
Carlton Nelson 0.326 1.67
Jose Gandarillas 0.323 1.52

All of this implies that Mr. Rose might be in for a substantial "over"-payday. If you need a big hitter here, you might need be better off hitting the phones. In fact, mrploppie assures me he has (or can acquire) several high quality COF's for a very reasonable price.

FA Pitchers, a buyer's market

2011-07-15T18:01:00.000-04:00

Depending on how things shake out during the window of time teams have to negotiate with their free agents, season 21 could be a real buyers market. Here are the free agent leaders in FIP with stamina greater than 50:

Long Relievers/Swing Men:

Name IP ERA FIP
Tony Terrero 28.2 2.20 3.02
Matty Palmer 46.0 3.91 3.55
Sam Roberts 79.0 4.22 3.60
Bernie Almonte 54.2 5.10 3.64
Tom Gibson 171.2 4.46 3.88
Derrick Bird 44.0 4.50 4.14
Hector Chavez 76.0 5.33 4.34
Vance Weaver 138.2 4.28 4.36
Kenneth Mann 124.2 3.97 4.50
Humberto Diaz 57.2 3.90 4.52

Starters:

Name IP ERA FIP
Jesus Pujols 229.2 3.33 3.39
Zephyr Burns 194 3.71 3.69
Jerry Ross 152 3.32 3.80
Erubiel Owen 215.2 4.38 4.07
Talmadge Young 179 3.72 4.07
Peter Hinske 203 4.03 4.08
Kent Upshaw 125 4.75 4.30
Frank Harper 153.2 4.86 4.32
Parker Ellis 181 3.98 4.36
Roosevelt Fox 185.1 4.81 4.43

All-Time Great:

Kaz Ong 150.2 4.00 4.54

Ex-Commish Admits to Fathering Love Child with Ploppie’s Sister

2011-06-12T16:05:00.004-04:00

In one of the most shocking and prurient revelations in Cobb history, Times Herald reporters have confirmed that for the past nine seasons, FW_Kekionga and ploppie’s sister have been engaged in a passionate, lustful and at times . . . tender relationship culminating in the birth of a son, who was rumored to be playing baseball in the Dominican Republic.

When asked if this discovery triggered his abrupt departure, FW chokingly admitted that was the case. “It all started shortly after clinching the division championship in S11. For years, it had been nothing but frustration, but to finally reach the top like that . . . well, let’s just say something finally burst from inside and ploppie’s sister was there for me. Then there was Tanker-Gate, when I just needed someone to talk to after a hard day on the chat boards. I tell ya, those were dark days indeed, and I couldn’t have gotten through them without her.”

FW seemed as adept at leading a double life as he was crafting draft reviews for this publication . . . until he learned the fateful news. “When she first told me, I was in a state of shock. I just couldn’t believe this house of cards I had been building was all about to come crashing down. Then she told me he was a switch-hitter and I couldn’t hold back any longer. I’m not afraid to admit it, I just sat there at my desk and wept tears of joy.”

FW tried to maintain the façade for another season or two, but when he started doing the math and calculated the costs of sending a child to Rice or UNC for four years he realized he would have to give up his $5 per year commissioner job and seek more lucrative work. He had just returned from an interview for a scouting position at Baseball America when he was approached by a Times Herald reporter. “Hey FW, did you hear the one about ploppie’s sister having a kid? There she was, in a bar with a minister, a rabbi and a priest when . . . “ and then FW blurted out “I KNOW, it’s me, it’s me, I admit it, I’m the father, now will you parasites STOP HOUNDING ME?!?!” And once again, the relentless staff at the Times Herald landed the scoop.

When asked to comment, ms. Ploppie simply said . . .”FW who? Oh, you mean the one who sends those checks every month? Oh yeah, he’s a real sweet boy. His first wife, of course, is that stupid baseball game, but at least I don’t have to worry about anyone knocking on my door. Now that new guy in town, jvford? He looks like a hunk, I’m gonna have to break out my Mary Kay a bottle of tequila and go tap that!”

And like a Greek tragedy, the characters go about trying to pick up the pieces of their shattered lives? Will FW ever be able to re-claim his authority from the tyrant who has seized his desk? Will FW Jr. be drafted by mrploppie only to be neglected when it comes time for a contract offer? Will jvford be properly initiated into World Cobb? These and other questions will soon be answered by your diligent and creative Time Herald reporters.

Owner Q&A - dwoolery

2011-06-02T18:51:00.011-04:00

Who is Dwoolery and how did you steal the Commissioner job away from FW_Kekionga?
-I’m the guy who knows where the bodies are buried . . . AND I’ve got a shovel. (Plus I could really use that $5 credit each season, your sister said her rates were going up.)

Nate is a great guy, why kick him to the curb? (ya rat bastid)
-Hey, backoff grandpa! I’m doing the guy a favor. When you read the latest Cobb Herald expose, everything will be revealed, and I mean everything . . . EVERYTHING!!

Are you any relation to the great game show host Chuck Woolery?
-Don’t tell anyone, but I’m the first successful human clone. Well, mostly successful if you disregard the third arm.

What is Chuck Woolery like?
-Just like me, except older, uglier and smarmier.

Can you get me Chuck Woolery's autograph? (I once staked out his house for a couple of days, but he kept his curtains closed)
-That was my house Sherlock.

How long is a restraining order good for?
-Until you find another mark, or the alzheimers sets in for good.

What is a Jerry Gang and why is it in Tacoma?
-It’s a gang of guys who all know how to use Google. Try it sometime.

If you could have one pitcher and hitter from any other team, who would they be?
-I’ve been trying to land that beast Quilvio Suarez for awhile, but owners keep wanting decent players back. That SOB wouldn’t be fazed a bit by Cheney Stadium. And I'd love to get that bastid Dean Hernandez back in Tacoma for one day - so the fans could show their "appreciation" for jerking us around during re-signing negotiations.

If Cobb owners came to a party , who would bring what?
-Seriously?!?! Unless it was a Star Trek convention you’d never get those dudes out of their parents’ basements. Of course, I’m specifically NOT referring to those well-heeled baseball mavens who supported my rise to power.

Which Cobb owners do you respect the most and why. ( BTW it's spelled P L O P P I E )
-Any of those who are able to lose to me with grace and dignity.

If Wile E coyote has enough money to by all that Acme crap why doesn't he buy his dinner?
-Have you ever tried to eat an ACME burrito? The fallout is NOT pretty. By the way is this about over?

Which player in Cobb would you like to be, and why do you want to be a fictional baseball player in the first place? What song would be played when you are introduced?
-Tony Arnold. Chip on his shoulder since Day 1, but shuts his mouth, does his job and proves it on the field. Bon Jovi’s Blaze of Glory.

Why doesn't the fattest man in the world become a hockey goalie?
-People still watch hockey?

Which prospect of yours are you most looking forward to seeing in the bigs?
-Jeremi Arnold. That dude is gonna win GG’s at SS AND have seasons with 45+ HR’s.

You forgot to pay my sister for last Tuesday. Please hand over $7.00.
-Tell her to check her paypal account, and her antibiotics prescription – she’s ready for a refill.

World Series Titles two,( none in Cobb) how did you do it? Those leagues must really suck!
-One did, the other was Moneyball. You have to be in it to really appreciate how competitive it is, but that’ll never happen for an ADD-inflicted tanker like you.

Juan Javier is a nice player, did you use the Jedi Mind Trick to convince MrPloppie to trade him to you? What was your best trade in Cobb?
-It was actually surprising easy, just waited for a spell of Alzheimer’s to drift in and I pounced. But I also gave up a good player in that one. I’d have to say Hollandsworth to Sioux Falls for Brandon Miller. Miller has been a very replaceable career .775 OPS, Hollandsworth will get his 100th Win for TAC this season with a 3.52 career ERA.

What do you honestly think of tankers?
-Sad, pathetic creatures that should stick to MMORPG’s.

If you can fight any famous sports figure... who would it be and why?
-Friggin Chris Chambliss. For the young punks who read this rag, he’s the jackass who torpedoed my Royals’ WS hopes in their first trip to the playoffs in 1976. Not only that, he sent a sad little 7yr old down a dark and depressing path for many years. (sniff)

Why is daubs still playing this game? A great guy......but somewhere down the line shouldn't he win something?
-I’m convinced he is actually uber-crafty and has found a way to spin this hobby into some sort of elaborate tax shelter. Winning a WS would just bring too much attention to his scam.

Which 3 Cobb owners constitute the Axis of Evil?
-Furniss13, jonboynky, brianfurnish, every so often they have the audacity to nip at my heels trying to take my division from me.

Do you have any pictures of Chuck Woolery naked?
-Why? You gonna show me some?

In Regulars you won 51 games last season with the Santa Fe Conquistadors . Why are you still in that league?
-No idea. I would have kicked me out before the end of the season. I can only guess they’re like your sister, none to picky as long as the bill gets paid.

Which Cobb owner (beside yourself)would you like to see win the World Series title and why?
-daubs23 - That poor bastid just keeps coming back for punishment. Plus it would make for a great Disney flick.

Thank You for your bull shit answers to my very informative and probing questions. (speaking of probing - I'm told that the $7.00 was for Tuesday and Wednesday )

The opinions expressed are not those of the medical profession. If you have any queries or concerns or require any further professional advice about any of the information or opinions appearing on the Forum, you should consult your doctor or health care professional.

NL All Star Breakdown

2011-06-01T12:33:00.000-04:00

While All Star position players are determined by a vote of the fans, All Star pitchers are selected by the manager of the league champs and the players themselves. Pete Womack was at the helm of the NL and World Series Champ Montgomery Burns but bolted for the AL Tampa Buzz in the off season. As a result, Womack’s only exposure to NL pitching this year was during inter-league play. Not surprisingly, some of this year’s top NL pitching performances have been left off the All Star team.

In fairness, the very best pitchers will be at the All Star Game; Ariel Cervantes (3.8 Wins Above Replacement), Furio Kydd (3.7 WAR), Davey Silva (3.7 WAR) and Jamie Hayashi (3.6 WAR) are all represented. However, the next three most valuable pitchers didn’t make the cut. The trio of Gary Ferguson (3.3 WAR), Nolan Payton (3.1 WAR) and Michael Leonard (3.0 WAR) all have had great first halves but will stay home All Star Weekend in favor of established stars with more name recognition.

Among the fan favorites and big names going to the All Star game are Dean Hernandez (2.0 WAR) and Howard Hughes (2.0 WAR). Hernandez does lead the NL with 13 wins, and Hughes has a solid 10 – 3 record so it’s understandable why they were chosen even though neither count among the top 20 most valuable NL pitchers.

AL All Star Voters Out at 1B

2011-05-31T18:07:00.001-04:00

So far at the All Star ballot box, American League fans have gotten a lot of things right. Jerome Mancuso and Pedro Franco have been the best hitters at their positions and lead in All Star voting. The latest in sabremetric analysis shows that at First Base and Right Field, the other ‘offensive’ positions, the voting results have so far been, well, offensive. At First and in Right, vote leaders Sean Holt and Javier Rios have done well this season posting weighted on base averages (wOBA) and Wins Above Average (WAA*) of and .390 and 1.85 and .380 and 1.44 respectively. The problem is that other hitters have done better, and it’s not really close. Making matters worse, the voters’ second choices of Pablo Rosa and Juan Baez are even farther off the mark.
Pawtuckett 1B Ajax Warley shouldn’t have All Star weekend off. Yet to win any major award, he is the best hitting First baseman the AL, worth about 2.4 WAA with a wOBA of 417. It’s not as though the fans are taking park factors into account either; Tacoma’s Jude Harris has a wOBA of .397 and 2 WAA playing in a very pitcher friendly environment.
In Right Field, Javier Rios trails 4 other Right Fielders on offense. Norfolk’s Fernando Rojas has accounted for 2.48 WAA – a full win more than current vote leader Rios - and has a wOBA of .419, but hasn’t been a factor in the All Star Voting.
No fault of the fans but worst of all, Quilvio Suarez, whose big bat has been worth 3.6 WAA so far this season – the second best in the AL – is squeezed out of the only DH spot by Pedro Franco’s 5.41 WAA monster first half.

Season 19 Draft Recap

2011-02-26T15:13:00.002-05:00

Carlton Greely III - Special to Cobb Times Herald from Baseball Nerd Weekly

Welcome to the Cobb World Draft Recap. Following suggestions from our subscribers, we have contracted out our draft recaps to Baseball Nerd Weekly, who bring their expertise and Specialized Talent Universal Draft Analysis (STUD Analysis) to the Cobb Times Herald. So without further ado, here is this seasons draft recap, in team and pick order.

STUD Analysis Note: Players are rated on a scale of 1-10, with 10 being the highest. Players are rated relative to their position and how they would perform at the ML level, with a 5 being average. N/A means the player hasn't signed and therefore has no rating.

Round	Pick	Fran	Player	Pos	Age	STUD Rating
1	5	BUR	Jolbert Picasso	P	19	8.2
3	115	BUR	Mendy Punto	SS	19	6.4
4	147	BUR	Joe Lanning	CF	19	3.8
5	179	BUR	Bobby Cosby	LF	22	3.6
						Team Grade: C+
1	18	CH1	Hank Ankiel	C	18	8.4
1	20	CH1	Chuck Foster	P	22	6.9
1	58	CH1	Alexander Siebert	P	20	6
2	95	CH1	Sam Greenberg	P	21	N/A
3	128	CH1	Jason Brooks	P	20	3.8
4	160	CH1	Bernie Corbin	P	22	4.7
5	192	CH1	Joe Sadler	P	19	3
						Team Grade: C+
1	24	CHA	Sam Bowles	P	18	N/A
1	61	CHA	Pepe Pena	P	18	N/A
1	70	CHA	Elmer Haynes	1B	18	7.2
2	99	CHA	Dan Sadler	CF	19	6.4
3	132	CHA	James Riley	P	19	4.8
4	164	CHA	Willie Diaz	P	22	3.8
5	196	CHA	Lawrence Martin	SS	20	3.3
						Team Grade: D+
1	8	CHR	Stephen Hubbard	1B	18	9.4
1	11	CHR	Josh Porter	P	19	6.9
1	29	CHR	Duke Terry	SS	18	7.5
1	35	CHR	Naoto Hong	1B	21	6.8
1	55	CHR	Buck Melton	P	18	6.8
2	87	CHR	B.J. Houston	2B	19	6
3	120	CHR	Jerrod Hall	RF	18	5.1
4	152	CHR	Harry Mendoza	CF	18	4.8
5	184	CHR	Nicholas Thurston	P	19	3.2
						Team Grade: A-
1	6	CHY	Alex Koh	P	18	9.1
1	52	CHY	Yusmeiro Jimenez	CF	22	7.5
1	67	CHY	Sean Stark	LF	19	6.8
4	148	CHY	Roy Thurman	SS	20	5.7
5	180	CHY	Joel Kelly	P	18	5.4
						Team Grade: B
1	19	CLB	Kris Dougherty	CF	18	8.2
2	94	CLB	Al Gomez	C	21	N/A
3	127	CLB	Robert Powell	P	20	2.4
4	159	CLB	Huston James	P	20	3.6
5	191	CLB	Del Sherman	P	18	N/A
						Team Grade: C
2	105	CLE	Graham Willits	P	18	6.1
3	137	CLE	Stevie Ingram	C	19	4.8
4	169	CLE	Daniel Sappelt	P	18	4.4
5	201	CLE	Yorrick Miller	P	22	3.2
						Team Grade: D-
1	4	CSP	Cody Bryant	2B	18	9.1
2	81	CSP	Omar Cornejo	LF	19	5.8
3	114	CSP	Nicholas Brandt	LF	22	N/A
4	146	CSP	Bruce Zavada	3B	18	N/A
5	178	CSP	Harry Klein	P	22	4.1
						Team Grade: C+
1	21	DOV	Shaggy Summers	C	21	8
1	38	DOV	Jerome Berger	SS	19	7.7
1	59	DOV	Tim Laxton	P	22	6.4
1	69	DOV	Matthew Cannon	SS	21	7.1
2	96	DOV	Zephyr Bradshaw	CF	19	6.1
3	116	DOV	Philip Hampton	RF	19	5.1
3	129	DOV	Wilfredo Bennett	P	18	3.4
4	161	DOV	Charley Townsend	C	19	4
5	193	DOV	Craig Smart	RF	22	5
						Team Grade: B+
1	28	ELP	Tomas Berroa	P	18	7.3
1	31	ELP	Casey Mordecai	CF	18	7.9
1	46	ELP	Russ Adcock	P	18	6.9
1	49	ELP	Weldon Howard	CF	18	6.8
1	50	ELP	Joe Ojeda	P	18	7.8
1	65	ELP	Brook Banks	P	18	6.4
1	72	ELP	Brian Roth	P	18	6.2
1	75	ELP	Pedro Calvo	P	18	6.1
2	103	ELP	Sal Meares	3B	18	5.2
2	109	ELP	Miguel Carrasquel	SS	18	6.6
3	141	ELP	Steve Hinske	3B	18	5.4
4	173	ELP	Clyde Randall	P	18	N/A
5	205	ELP	Ernie Burns	P	18	N/A
						Team Grade: B
1	42	FLA	Gabe Titan	CF	21	7.4
1	64	FLA	Rico Seanez	P	22	7.2
1	71	FLA	Britt Murray	P	18	1.2
1	74	FLA	Jermaine Berry	P	19	4
2	104	FLA	Tex Staley	P	19	6
3	136	FLA	Eddie Johnson	P	22	4
4	168	FLA	Nate Quinn	P	19	3.8
5	186	FLA	Alton Purcey	C	22	4.9
5	200	FLA	Abraham Metcalfe	SS	19	5.2
						Team Grade: C
1	1	HOU	Gill Cochrane	P	18	9.6
2	76	HOU	Marcus Booker	2B	18	N/A
3	111	HOU	Bernard Cepicky	CF	20	N/A
4	143	HOU	T.J. Lyons	3B	21	N/A
5	175	HOU	Ned Reddick	2B	19	N/A
						Team Grade: C+
1	25	IA	Luther Silvestri	P	18	5.5
1	27	IA	Jake Powell	LF	18	5.4
1	41	IA	Vin Morris	P	18	6.6
2	101	IA	Dante Joseph	C	18	5.8
3	133	IA	Trevor Thomas	2B	18	5.7
4	165	IA	Paul Tobin	SS	18	5.8
5	197	IA	Kid D'Amico	P	18	4.7
						Team Grade: D+
1	9	JAC	Nerio Donnelly	C	18	7.9
1	54	JAC	Charlie Schlehuber	P	20	6.9
2	80	JAC	Chin-Hui Kuo	P	22	5.4
2	85	JAC	Nolan Perkins	P	18	6.9
3	118	JAC	Jerome Reid	C	18	4.8
4	150	JAC	David Nelson	2B	18	3.7
5	182	JAC	Ryan Valentin	SS	18	N/A
						Team Grade: B-
1	15	KC	Ray Plesac	RF	22	7.9
2	91	KC	Donovan Payton	P	22	7.2
3	124	KC	Kris Creek	SS	19	6.7
4	156	KC	Sammy Coleman	SS	21	6.4
5	188	KC	J.T. Lansing	P	18	3.8
						Team Grade: B-
1	23	LAA	Rico Olmeda	RF	18	7.6
1	40	LAA	Albert Benavente	P	20	7
1	48	LAA	Elmer Duffy	RF	21	7.6
1	60	LAA	Andres Tavarez	CF	18	7.2
2	98	LAA	Keith Gonzales	SS	18	5.8
3	122	LAA	Humberto Vazquez	C	19	5.3
3	131	LAA	Billy Getz	SS	21	5.6
4	154	LAA	Joe Gwynn	P	21	6
4	163	LAA	Phillip Cooper	2B	22	4.8
5	195	LAA	Juan Alomar	SS	19	3.2
						Team Grade: B
1	32	MNT	Bobby Merritt	P	18	6.4
1	33	MNT	Brad Burns	SS	18	6.8
1	45	MNT	Derek Whitaker	2B	18	5.1
2	108	MNT	Matty Sosa	3B	18	5.9
3	140	MNT	Angel Ozuna	SS	18	N/A
4	172	MNT	William Rucker	C	18	6.7
5	204	MNT	Jon Burns	1B	18	N/A
						Team Grade: C-
1	63	NY2	Gary Branson	LF	18	N/A
4	167	NY2	Kenny Carlson	3B	18	5.2
5	199	NY2	Jerrod Dixon	P	18	4
						Team Grade: F
1	17	OMA	Derek Maranville	P	22	7.9
1	57	OMA	Wilton Jenner	RF	20	6.8
1	68	OMA	Eddie Rolls	LF	18	6.9
2	93	OMA	Pedro Baez	3B	20	5.9
3	126	OMA	Derrik Sparks	2B	19	5.1
4	158	OMA	Adam White	P	19	4.9
5	190	OMA	Doug Adams	P	22	2.6
						Team Grade: C+
1	13	PAW	Joey Stewart	P	18	8.1
2	100	PAW	Einar Maduro	P	21	N/A
						Team Grade: C
1	3	PIT	York Coleman	P	22	8.1
3	113	PIT	Gail Young	P	18	6
4	145	PIT	Julian Galvez	P	22	4.4
5	177	PIT	Johan Lintz	P	18	3.8
						Team Grade: C+
1	7	ROC	Arlie Pecina	P	21	8.1
1	53	ROC	Andrew Stokes	P	22	7.6
2	84	ROC	Corky Palmer	P	20	7
3	117	ROC	Esmailyn Ordonez	SS	21	N/A
4	149	ROC	Denny Cheng	P	19	4
5	181	ROC	Carlos Vargas	C	18	4.1
						Team Grade: B-
1	12	SEA	Junior Martinez	CF	18	8
1	56	SEA	Pedro Rijo	CF	22	N/A
2	88	SEA	Garret Miceli	P	20	N/A
3	121	SEA	Tris Balboa	1B	21	4.6
4	153	SEA	Bret Hogan	P	18	N/A
5	185	SEA	Brett Ulrich	P	20	3.9
						Team Grade: C *
1	10	SF	Archie Prokopec	P	18	6.9
2	86	SF	Terrence Yerkes	P	18	7.1
3	119	SF	Raul Sosa	P	20	5.6
4	151	SF	Stan Flores	P	18	5
5	183	SF	George Capps	P	18	4.9
						Team Grade: C-
1	26	SXF	Mendy Jensen	1B	20	7.6
1	62	SXF	Giovanni Butler	SS	18	7.6
2	102	SXF	Ernest Sheets	3B	19	6
3	134	SXF	Bernard Hoffpauir	CF	18	6.1
4	166	SXF	Artie Collier	RF	19	5.4
5	198	SXF	Glendon Brown	P	20	N/A
						Team Grade: B-
1	14	SYR	Bill Munoz	CF	21	8.7
1	36	SYR	Felix Perry	P	20	6.8
2	83	SYR	Hugh Newman	3B	18	7.1
2	90	SYR	Bryan Cedeno	P	18	7
3	123	SYR	Lonny Tracy	2B	22	5.2
4	155	SYR	Kouhei Kojima	LF	22	5.2
5	187	SYR	Diego Canseco	C	19	4.8
						Team Grade: B+
1	44	TAC	Fergie Boone	SS	18	N/A
2	107	TAC	Bernie James	SS	18	6.5
3	139	TAC	P.T. Coleman	P	18	N/A
4	171	TAC	Ichiro Masaoka	2B	18	N/A
5	203	TAC	Kenji Ono	3B	18	N/A
						Team Grade: D-
1	2	TB	Greg Carillo	1B	22	9.5
1	51	TB	Dennis Lewis	LF	22	8
2	77	TB	Carlton Wheeler	RF	19	6.8
2	78	TB	Curtis Swann	2B	20	6.1
3	112	TB	J.P. Torres	P	19	N/A
4	144	TB	Javy Quintero	P	20	N/A
5	176	TB	Lou Richardson	3B	18	N/A
						Team Grade: A
1	16	TOR	Haywood Brown	P	20	8.5
1	37	TOR	Jimmie Little	P	21	6
2	82	TOR	Chris Ward	P	18	6.2
2	92	TOR	Scott Gibbons	P	20	4.9
3	125	TOR	Matty Benavente	P	22	5.3
4	157	TOR	Todd Krause	SS	19	5
5	189	TOR	Blake Rogers	P	18	3.1
						Team Grade: C+
1	22	TRE	Alex Gomez	SS	18	7.9
1	39	TRE	Gerald May	P	19	8.2
2	89	TRE	Einar Noesi	P	18	N/A
2	97	TRE	Benjamin Magee	P	18	5.2
3	130	TRE	Dale Nichols	P	21	6.3
4	162	TRE	Steve Counsell	2B	22	5
5	194	TRE	Chance Hampton	LF	18	5.3
						Team Grade: B
1	34	VC	Karl Ramirez	P	21	7.9
1	47	VC	Johnnie Sinclair	P	18	6.1
1	66	VC	Perry Tipton	CF	20	6.9
1	73	VC	Clarence Adcock	P	19	6.8
2	110	VC	Gerrit Nixon	P	21	N/A
3	135	VC	Jake Sweeney	P	21	N/A
3	142	VC	Randy Briggs	SS	19	6.7
4	174	VC	Paul Delmonico	SS	21	5.2
5	206	VC	Rob Gilmore	P	22	4.1
						Team Grade: C+
1	30	WIC	Trot Tracy	P	21	7.1
1	43	WIC	Kent Jurrjens	C	22	7.1
2	79	WIC	Rick Meares	P	22	6.5
2	106	WIC	Nick Sutton	SS	20	5.8
3	138	WIC	Hoss St. Clair	2B	19	4.6
4	170	WIC	Lewis Spencer	P	20	6.1
5	202	WIC	Macbeth Upshaw	CF	22	5.1

*SIM Draft/AWOL Owner

Dr. Phil on What's Wrong with the Columbus HoundDogs

2011-02-12T16:19:00.001-05:00

The question that is burning on everyone's mind right now is, "What's wrong with my team?" No other owner has been as vocal about his squads ineptitude as Columbus HoundDog owner rbf_4. So to help him out, noted television personality Dr. Phil McGraw scheduled a show specifically on what is wrong with the HoundDogs, and how to fix it. Following are selected bits from the show transcript.

Dr. Phil: "Hello everybody and welcome to a very special show. Today we have as our guest, rbf_4, a World Series winning owner in the legendary Cobb World of HBD, who has seen his team go from studs to duds in just one season. What could have possibly gone wrong with this team, which was so good the last few seasons that it could butter anybodies bucket? During this show, we'll find out just what is wrong in Columbus and how he can fix it make his team a better and more harmonious squad."

rbf_4: "Dr. Phil, what is puzzling to me is that my offense is so offensive. Nobody on my team can hit other than the MVP Chipper Jones. What's going on there?"
Dr. Phil: "Now I'm not going to throw you under the bus rbf, but the reason your lineup stinks like a garbage truck driving out of a skunks mouth is a multifaceted problem. But the simple answer is talent in the right positions. Over time you have managed your team into a corner. Here's a good example, Chul Jung starting in LF. He's got great speed, but can you justify starting a bat with less pop then a flat Pepsi in a power position on the field? LF is where you put you player with a glove like lead and bat like a hot tamale! Even worse, you're putting him at the top of the lineup, and I can tell you for certain that a .635 OPS and .315 OBP at the top of the order is a recipe for disaster, and I ask, how's that working for you?

Chul Jung
Columbus
HoundDogs
Age: 27	B/T: R/R
Born: Kobe, JP
Position(s): LF/1B/RF/DH
View Hardball Dynasty Profile

rbf_4: "Wow Dr. Phil, I had never considered that, you're so right!"
Dr. Phil: "There there rbf_4, I'm here to help you and all your Columbus family.

Dr. Phil: "Another thing I noticed with the Columbus lineup is that Goose Benes is ugly enough to make a freight train take dirt road, his numbers are horrific! That .622 OPS and .326 slugging % provides about as much protection in the order for Jose Ordaz as the Maginot Line did for France! Hitting him sixth is about as good an option as putting a ballerina in a competitive hot dog eating contest.

Goose Benes
Columbus
HoundDogs
Age: 30	B/T: S/R
Born: Stouffville, ON
Position(s): CF/2B/RF/DH
View Hardball Dynasty Profile

rbf_4: "But Dr. Phil, how do I fix it, the bottom of my order isn't much better, and I only have three bonafide hitting options in my entire lineup?"
Dr. Phil: "Well rbf_4, I would suggest trades, possibly moving your starting pitching. You certainly can't move prospects, as your minor league system has been neglected worse then some of the wives and children I have had on my show recently. Trading Jimmie Julio might not be the best idea either, as he is the glue that keeps your pitching intact while also providing an incredible bat at a very reasonable price. Not to mention that at 31 years old he's about ready to leave his prime and start the early decline that always seems to hit the Catcher position first. I think you are up a creek without a paddle on this one, trades don't seem to be such a good option for you, and if someone out there doesn’t agree with me, then somewhere a village is missing their idiot.”
rbf_4: "I think that's rather harsh Dr. Phil, I mean how else can I get talent?"
Dr. Phil: “Don’t make me put your head in my blender, this ain't my first rodeo son!”

Dr. Phil: "So why won't that HoundDog hunt? The answer isn't easy, but it basically revolves around only having three good hitters, playing slap hitters in power positions, and not having enough protection in your lineup, as well as being old at key positions and not having built up quality replacements in the minors after going the way of the NY Yankees and pursuing the almighty free agent dollar. But if you want to know more about it, you can read my book, 'Lineup Rescue: Putting Your Baseball Team First and Your Heart Second,' out now in bookstores near you and on my website. Thanks everybody, and good luck rbf_4 in rebuilding your lineup and your life."

Hugh Clark - Tac Town is Killing my Flo

2011-01-20T18:42:00.002-05:00

Tito McQueen - Cobb Times Herald

Tacoma Jerry Gang all star 3B/SS Hugh Clark has been making his displeasure with management known to the rest of the league, much to the chagrin of GM dwoolery. The talented slugger has been a mainstay in the Jerry Gang's lineup since season 15, and started all 162 games last year. But the playing time and winning atmosphere in Tacoma haven't been enough to assuage the ego of the apparent prima donna, as Clark has been doing all he can to move to a new team in order to pad his numbers and get away from the hitting wasteland that is Cheney Stadium.

Hugh Clark
Tacoma
Jerry Gang
Age: 26	B/T: R/R
Born: Bovina, TX
Position(s): SS/IF/OF/DH
View Hardball Dynasty Profile

"I played 162 games last year and all I could belt was 29 home runs, which is wack because I am taking every supplement that is legal and can be bought at my local GNC. Plus I hit the weight room as hard as I hit opposing pitchers, I mean look at these cobras!" said a Stallonesque and flexing Clark to radio host Jimmy "Mac Dawg" McCool of Tacoma AM 1360 "The Fan" during an interview on McCools show, "The Dawg House." Clark continued, saying, "I think that if I can get the hell out of dodge and go play in a real mans stadium like they build down in Texas, then I could show the world how great I am, and win the awards necessary to make it into the Hall of Fame. Tacoma just isn't happening, and the people are all too busy playing with their iphones to give a rip about baseball. Hell, back in Bovina Texas it was football, baseball, and barbeque all the time, none of this namby pamby triple mocha latte coffee business. That's what I want, and I think I deserve it too."

Tony Arnold
Tacoma
Jerry Gang
Age: 32	B/T: R/R
Born: Panama, OK
Position(s): LF/1B/DH
View Hardball Dynasty Profile

One person who would definitely be happy to see Clark go is Jerry Gang veteran Tony Arnold, who has quietly put up excellent numbers while maintaining a positive attitude. In an interview with radio host Jimmy "Jimbo" Cruz during his show, "The Morning Cruz" on Tacoma AM 780 "The Score" Arnold said, "Tacoma has been great to me and my family, and sure, I could have put up Barrios numbers had I been playing in Santa Fe, but the management knows how to take care of their players here. For a young pup like Clark to go shooting his mouth like that when he really hasn't proven anything over a long period of time is not appropriate, I think. But the kids these days like to have it be all about me, so really he isn't any different then any other young stud. Why, back when I was his age I couldn't get out of my contract with my team even if I wanted to, it was hard wired in me to stay with my team if they wanted me. Nowadays the kids seem to be coded differently, as many tell their teams to stick it and walk. It just doesn't seem right."

The management in Tacoma is quite willing to keep the super talent, but isn't above trading the malcontent either if the situation is right. Jerry Gang GM dwoolery has gone on record saying that if the price is right, Clark can be dealt. The prospect of trading the young face of the franchise has the Tacoma fanbase texting up a storm of hypothetical trades in between ecommerce and bluetooth meetings, and the next few days should see AT&T rake in a record profit in the Tacoma area from Clark related text traffic.

New Rules

2011-01-11T08:27:00.000-05:00

Effective Season 19 and forward Cobb World will now be enforcing the following rules to ensure that fun and fair play is the normal in the league. Please read and understand them.

1. All owners will be expected to treat all other owners with courtesy and respect. Failure to do so will put an owners place in the league up for review. This includes world and trade chats, and any other interactions owners have between each other.

2. All franchises will be expected to meet a minimum level of competitiveness. There will be a win floor of 55 games for one season, 115 games for two consecutive seasons. Failure to meet this minimum win level will put an owners place in the league up for review.

3. All franchises will be expected to maintain their minor leagues to a minimum standard. A .300 average win percentage across the board for all minor league teams should be maintained. 0(0)pitchers and pitchers playing positions will not be tolerated. Failure to meet this goal will put an owners place in the league up for review.

Failure to meet these goals does not guarantee that an owner will be removed from the league, just be put up for review. The review will consist of the commissioner asking the rest of the league their opinions, and if a majority feel the offending owner should be removed then the commissioner will act to do so.

Depending on the situation the owner will be either given a warning or asked to leave the league at seasons end. If the violation is extreme enough the owner will be removed immediately.

Season 18 Draft Recap

2010-12-04T13:45:00.000-05:00

Carlton Greely III - Special to Cobb Times Herald from Baseball Nerd Weekly

Welcome to the new and improved Cobb World Draft Recap. Following suggestions from our subscribers, we have contracted out our draft recaps to Baseball Nerd Weekly, who bring their expertise and Specialized Talent Universal Draft Analysis (STUD Analysis) to the Cobb Times Herald. So without further ado, here is this seasons draft recap, in team and pick order.

STUD Analysis Note: Players are rated on a scale of 1-10, with 10 being the highest. Players are rated relative to their position and how they would perform at the ML level, with a 5 being average. NR means the player hasn't signed and therefore has no rating.

Fran	Round	Pick	Player	Pos	Age	Bonus	S.T.U.D.
Fran	Round	Pick	Player	Pos	Age	Bonus	Rating
ARI	1	23	Von Molitor	P	19	$1,940K	8.1
ARI	1	39	Bobby Ray Cook	P	22	$760K	5.4
ARI	1	45	Ross Skinner	P	21	$1,009K	6.3
ARI	1	53	Manny Kennedy	P	21	$600K	7.2
ARI	2	69	Zip Manship	P	21	$550K	5.8
ARI	2	80	Emmett McDonald	P	21	$550K	5.9
ARI	2	88	Bill Nelson	P	20	$550K	5.6
ARI	3	122	Robb Dillon	2B	21	$425K	3.8
ARI	4	157	Bernie Castillo	RF	19	---	NR
ARI	5	189	David Chang	CF	19	---	NR
							Team Grade: B
ATL	1	16	Dean Murray	C	22	---	NR
ATL	4	150	Rudy Franco	P	18	$350K	3.8
ATL	5	182	Glenn Grant	P	22	$250K	1.2
							Team Grade: F
BUR	1	12	Adam Davis	RF	18	$2,970K	9.1
BUR	2	76	Kevin Kwon	2B	22	$550K	5.4
BUR	3	111	Rickey Gates	P	21	---	NR
BUR	4	146	Marcus Dolan	P	19	$350K	4
BUR	5	178	Larry Spivey	LF	19	---	NR
							Team Grade: B
CH1	1	2	Stan Stephenson	P	19	$3,910K	7.8
CH1	2	64	Christopher Sullivan	P	21	$550K	5.2
CH1	3	101	Chris Liddi	P	19	$425K	3.8
CH1	4	136	Hector Lopez	P	22	$350K	4.2
CH1	5	168	Footsie Reagan	P	20	$250K	5
							Team Grade: C
CHA	1	7	Birdie Miles	P	18	---	NR
CHA	3	134	Douglas Daneker	C	21	$966K	6.8
CHA	4	141	Neftali Uribe	1B	18	$350K	3.9
CHA	5	173	Eric Robertson	CF	20	$250K	3.3
							Team Grade: D+
CHY	1	8	Raymond Iannone	P	21	$8,085K	8.9
CHY	1	47	Wilkin Tapies	P	19	$600K	7
CHY	2	71	C.J. Soriano	2B	18	---	NR
CHY	3	107	Mateo Zapata	CF	21	$425K	5.8
CHY	4	142	Cory Bowman	P	18	$350K	4.8
CHY	5	174	Dick McCallum	CF	18	$250K	5
							Team Grade: B+
CLB	1	22	Cla Young	P	18	$2,040K	7.8
CLB	1	38	Joe Lemon	P	18	$800K	6.8
CLB	2	87	Carter LeCroy	P	18	$550K	4.9
CLB	2	93	James Sadowski	CF	21	---	NR
CLB	3	106	George Kinney	CF	20	$425K	5.2
CLB	3	121	Bob Halter	P	22	$425K	5.9
CLB	4	156	Enrique Lee	LF	18	$350K	3.6
CLB	5	188	Daniel Walters	P	22	$250K	3.9
							Team Grade: B
CLE	3	129	Cristobal Fuentes	P	22	---	NR
CLE	4	164	Rickey Lee	P	19	---	NR
CLE	5	196	Glenn Hill	SS	22	$250K	3.9
							Team Grade: F
DOV	1	27	Elroy Jefferson	P	18	$1,570K	7.9
DOV	1	41	Victor Conigliaro	2B	21	$680K	5.2
DOV	2	94	Nolan Brown	P	22	$550K	5
DOV	2	97	Terrell Morneau	P	19	$550K	4.9
DOV	3	126	Yuniesky Rojas	CF	18	$425K	5.8
DOV	4	161	Davy Thome	P	21	$350K	4.1
DOV	5	193	Yonder Romano	P	20	$250K	2.1
							Team Grade: C+
FLA	1	25	Willie Bradley	P	20	$1,750K	7.5
FLA	1	54	Howie McNally	P	19	$600K	7.4
FLA	2	91	Nolan Herndon	P	20	$550K	6.8
FLA	3	124	Norman Hamilton	P	21	$425K	5.5
FLA	4	159	Bryan Frank	P	21	$350K	5
FLA	5	191	Darin Kingland	C	22	$250K	4.8
							Team Grade: B+
FRE	1	6	Neil Simpson	P	18	$5,810K	8.5
FRE	3	105	Paul Kata	P	21	$375K	4.8
FRE	4	140	Lloyd Thompson	2B	20	$338K	4.4
FRE	5	172	Alex Redondo	P	22	$200K	3.8
							Team Grade: C+
HOU	1	5	Brian Martin	P	22	$3,630K	8.9
HOU	1	46	Keith Walker	RF	19	$600K	6.2
HOU	1	57	Orlando Noesi	C	22	$600K	6.2
HOU	1	61	Steve Newson	LF	18	$600K	4.1
HOU	3	104	Enrique Moreno	P	20	$425K	4
HOU	4	139	Marlon O'Brien	P	18	$350K	4.9
HOU	5	171	Ken Griffin	P	22	$250K	5.2
							Team Grade: B
IA	1	18	Josh Vogelsong	RF	19	$2,410K	7.8
IA	2	82	Sammy Escuela	RF	20	$550K	6
IA	3	117	Brian McKay	3B	18	---	NR
IA	4	152	Sam Watson	P	19	---	NR
IA	5	184	Artie Hamilton	P	18	---	NR
							Team Grade: C+
JAC	1	3	Tommy Tanner	SS	18	$6,074K	8
JAC	2	65	Larry Cannon	3B	21	---	NR
JAC	2	74	Roosevelt McConnell	P	18	$550K	6
JAC	3	102	Phillip Brea	LF	20	$425K	5.1
JAC	3	132	Gregory Shannon	C	18	$425K	5
JAC	4	137	Luther Slocumb	P	18	$350K	4.2
JAC	5	169	Omar Petersen	LF	18	$250K	4
							Team Grade: B-
KC	1	14	Alex Calderone	P	18	$3,739K	8.9
KC	1	49	Malcolm Gorecki	CF	21	---	NR
KC	2	78	Jayson Smith	RF	19	---	NR
KC	3	113	Hades DeWitt	RF	22	---	NR
KC	4	148	Gerald Nixon	SS	19	---	NR
KC	5	180	Jeff Mattes	2B	20	---	NR
							Team Grade: B-
LAA	1	21	Matt Brow	3B	20	$2,130K	7.6
LAA	1	37	Milt Tanner	P	19	$840K	7
LAA	2	68	Mikey Carey	P	22	$550K	7.1
LAA	2	86	Taylor Lewis	P	20	$550K	5
LAA	3	120	Bill Van Hatten	P	18	$425K	5
LAA	4	155	Lefty Duncan	P	20	$350K	4.8
LAA	5	187	Naoki Ono	2B	21	$250K	2.6
							Team Grade: B
MNT	1	24	Markus Mathews	SS	18	$3,600K	7.8
MNT	1	32	Endy Schlehuber	P	18	$1,100K	6.9
MNT	1	44	Tommy Truman	P	18	$600K	5.2
MNT	2	99	Raymond Carroll	CF	18	$550K	3.2
MNT	3	131	Jensen Patterson	2B	18	$425K	2.8
MNT	4	166	Mark Tremie	SS	18	$350K	3
MNT	5	198	Josias Andrus	SS	18	$250K	3.4
							Team Grade: C
NAS	1	28	Saul Gonzales	P	18	$1,470K	7
NAS	1	56	B.J. O'Malley	P	18	$790K	6.2
NAS	2	95	Bruce Smith	C	18	$2,701K	5.8
NAS	3	127	Mark Teixeira	2B	18	---	NR
NAS	4	162	Dicky Mills	2B	18	$350K	4
NAS	5	194	Mark O'Leary	3B	18	$250K	4.5
							Team Grade: C+
NB	1	13	Rip Phelps	SS	19	$2,880K	8.6
NB	3	112	Scott Washburn	CF	20	$425K	5
NB	4	147	Charles Garcia	C	20	$350K	6
NB	5	179	Bobby Linton	P	19	$250K	4.4
							Team Grade: B
NY1	1	1	Rob Bannister	P	18	$4,000K	9.1
NY1	2	63	David Kemp	C	18	---	NR
NY1	3	100	Travis Berry	RF	18	$425K	4.6
NY1	3	133	Charlie Nunnally	CF	21	---	NR
NY1	4	135	Bruce Buckley	LF	20	---	NR
NY1	5	167	Marty Hall	SS	19	---	NR
							Team Grade: B
NY2	2	89	Ross Volstad	LF	18	---	NR
NY2	2	90	Rickey Henry	CF	21	$550K	4.4
NY2	3	123	Dave Johnson	3B	19	$425K	3.6
NY2	4	158	C.J. Charles	CF	20	$350K	3.8
NY2	5	190	Ed Simmons	CF	21	---	NR
							Team Grade: F
OMA	1	9	Rickey Herrera	P	19	$3,250K	8
OMA	3	108	Brian Redding	2B	21	$425K	4.4
OMA	4	143	Danny Fleming	1B	19	$350K	3.8
OMA	5	175	J.J. Ramsey	P	21	$250K	3.6
							Team Grade: C
PAW	1	19	John Yamakazi	CF	18	$2,320K	7.9
PAW	1	30	Calvin Brinkley	2B	21	$1,290K	7
PAW	1	36	Kirt Turner	P	18	---	NR
PAW	1	52	Armando Rosa	SS	18	$600K	6.5
PAW	2	84	Rich Dietz	P	18	---	NR
PAW	3	118	Carlos Saez	SS	19	$425K	6.8
PAW	4	153	Trevor Baez	C	22	$350K	5
PAW	5	185	Renyel Montanez	RF	22	$250K	3.4
							Team Grade: B+
RIC	1	17	Corban Gosling	CF	20	$2,500K	6.8
RIC	1	35	Jacque Dougherty	SS	21	$920K	6.6
RIC	1	51	Ronny York	LF	20	$600K	6.4
RIC	2	70	Beamer McBride	P	18	$550K	5
RIC	2	81	Don King	SS	21	$550K	4
RIC	3	116	Hugh Hauser	P	21	$425K	4.1
RIC	4	151	Taylor Benoit	2B	22	$350K	3.9
RIC	5	183	Yamid Garces	P	19	---	NR
							Team Grade: C
SEA	1	4	Wes Moss	P	21	$3,720K	8.8
SEA	2	66	George Chamberlain	CF	21	---	NR
SEA	2	67	Roosevelt Hiatt	SS	22	$550K	7
SEA	3	103	Tyrone Welch	P	21	$425K	6.6
SEA	4	138	Grant Simms	P	21	---	NR
SEA	5	170	Louis Hernandez	2B	19	$250K	4.5
							Team Grade: B+
SF	1	43	Eric Neal	P	18	$600K	5
SF	2	72	Saul Candelaria	P	18	$550K	3.2
SF	2	98	Hector Aquino	P	18	---	NR
SF	3	130	Fritz Adams	P	18	---	NR
SF	4	165	Rickey Grabow	P	21	---	NR
SF	5	197	Lawrence Walters	P	19	---	NR
							Team Grade: F
SXF	1	15	Keith Bennett	LF	20	$2,690K	7.9
SXF	1	34	Torii Madson	CF	20	$960K	7.8
SXF	1	50	Johnny Cheney	P	18	---	NR
SXF	1	59	Ted Hebert	2B	18	$600K	6.5
SXF	2	77	Joba Forbes	1B	18	$550K	7
SXF	2	79	Louie Gonzales	RF	19	$550K	5.4
SXF	3	114	Edgar Beltran	SS	18	---	NR
SXF	4	149	Trot Goulet	LF	18	$1,488K	5.6
SXF	5	181	Timothy Rodney	1B	22	$250K	3.6
							Team Grade: B+
SYR	1	10	Giomar Candelaria	2B	20	$3,160K	8.6
SYR	1	48	Hector Quentin	2B	18	$1,014K	7.8
SYR	1	58	Harry Lopez	P	19	$600K	4.5
SYR	3	109	Dave Irwin	P	18	$425K	5
SYR	4	144	Alfonso Vazquez	P	18	$875K	5
SYR	5	176	Milt McElroy	P	22	$250K	1.8
							Team Grade: B
TAC	1	29	Alex Costilla	2B	18	$1,380K	7
TAC	1	42	D'Angelo Aquino	P	18	$640K	6.9
TAC	2	96	Rick Kelley	RF	18	$754K	5.8
TAC	3	115	Steven Rossy	3B	18	$425K	5.4
TAC	3	128	Ron Thielman	SS	18	---	NR
TAC	4	163	Sherman Magnuson	2B	18	---	NR
TAC	5	195	Einar Vega	P	18	$250K	4.8
							Team Grade: C+
TOR	1	20	Cristian Walton	RF	21	$2,220K	5.8
TOR	2	85	Dwight Rogers	P	22	$550K	5.6
TOR	3	119	Patrick Douglas	P	21	$425K	5.5
TOR	4	154	Dixie Bradley	P	18	$350K	3.8
TOR	5	186	Rico Valdes	3B	19	$250K	2.6
							Team Grade: D-
TRE	1	11	Russell Roosevelt	CF	18	$3,070K	8.7
TRE	1	31	Clyde Edwards	3B	18	$2,035K	7.6
TRE	1	33	Ted Lo Duca	C	18	$1,000K	7.6
TRE	2	75	Tomas Ortiz	SS	20	$550K	5.8
TRE	2	83	Jeff Rizzo	CF	18	$550K	5
TRE	3	110	Bobby Denham	P	20	$425K	5.1
TRE	4	145	Steve Fox	P	20	$350K	3.8
TRE	5	177	Santiago Benavente	CF	19	$250K	2
							Team Grade: A-
WIC	1	26	Jeff DeJean	SS	19	$1,660K	7.8
WIC	1	40	Grant Leach	CF	19	$720K	7.6
WIC	1	55	Aramis Alicea	SS	19	$600K	7
WIC	1	60	Napoleon Glover	SS	20	$600K	6.8
WIC	1	62	Pat Stewart	SS	18	$600K	6.5
WIC	2	73	Tiny Easley	SS	20	$550K	4.8
WIC	2	92	Bosco Duran	3B	20	$550K	5.4
WIC	3	125	Doc Xavier	2B	19	$425K	4.7
WIC	4	160	Lastings Anderson	P	19	$350K	3.8
WIC	5	192	Harold Greer	P	21	$542K	2.9
							Team Grade: A-

Bonus Draft Coverage!

Biggest Steals: Hector Quentin (2B, Syracuse, #44 OV), Joba Forbes (1B, Sioux Falls, #77 OV)
Biggest Busts: Corban Gosling (CF, Richmond, #16 OV), Christian Walton (RF, Toronto, #20 OV)
Best Names: Mark Teixeira (Nashville, #117), Sherm St. Clair (Columbus, #252), Cy Young (Syracuse, #688), Dummy Service (Cleveland, #708)

Owner Q&A - Lightman

2010-11-10T11:42:00.000-05:00

Tito McQueen - Cobb Times Herald

Today we sit down with Wichita Wankers owner Lightman. Long a power in the NL East, Lightman takes the time to break down the competition in today's owner interview.

Does your franchise name imply that all residents of Wichita are Wankers? Or just the baseball team?
--Absolutely not. In fact, I am deeply offended that you would imply such an implication. Our team name definitively asserts that all residents of the entire state of Kansas are Wankers.

Is it possible to have celebrity fans in Kansas, and if so, who is the Wankers most famous celebrity fan?
--That's easy. Rob Riggle of the Daily Show.

Where do you think Davey Silva ranks all time among Cobb Hall of Fame pitchers?
--In my opinion, he's in the argument for the top slot. He doesn't give you quite the number of innings of Dean or King Ong, but he may be more effective in slightly less innings. Through his first 9 seasons, he's averaged about 19 wins and 229 IP with a 0.99 WHIP and 2.43 ERA.

If Davey Silva demanded a max contract, plus 10% of the franchise, plus a little dog named Toto, plus a herd of little people with lollipops, and some ruby slippers, would you give it to him?
--I think I'd have to, given how little I've had to pay him so far.

You are the only owner other than squidvicious to make the world series twice and lose. How does that make you feel?
--Sticky.

What is the best promotion that the Wichita Wankers run each year?
--Pull Davey Silva With a No-Hitter in the Ninth Inning Night. Not only do the fans get to watch one of the great pitchers in Cobb dominate the other team. They also get to watch one of our middle relievers induce a game-ending groundout in a five-pitch appearance to finish off a 7-0 win.

Which player on your team has the best theme music, and what is it?
--Lawrence Shave. 93 'Til Infinity by the Souls of Mischief.

Who is the most underrated player you have ever had on your Wankers teams?
--Could be any of my top hitters, since our park is such a pitchers park. Grant Keats, Vasco Chantres, Dorian Woolf all come to mind.

Which baseball team do you follow in real life?
--Chicago White Sox. I grew up outside Chicago and that was the team I followed. I do also enjoy laughing at Cubs fans.

Who do you think is the best character from Arrested Development?
--Wow. That's like asking me what is the worst episode of Glee. How do you choose? I think I'd have to go with Buster. He always cracked me up. Of course, I'd probably give you a different answer tomorrow.

What is the best trade you have ever made in Cobb?
--Getting Davey Silva. I don't remember what I gave up, but I'm pretty sure I won that trade.

And what is the worst?
--Nothing jumps out at me as a terrible trade. I know there are several trades that I didn't pull the trigger on that I probably should have. I guess my worst one was dealing away Elvis Kennedy for Victor Sanchez, who never panned out for me.

Is there any particular move you made as a GM that you are incredibly proud of? (trade, draft pick, free agent signing, etc...)
--No, not really. Just felt that I built a very competitive team from scratch. I tend to focus more on those moves that didn't work out as I would have liked, so I'm probably a bit of a pessimist in that way.

Best movie concerning vigilante justice - Punisher (Dolph Lundgren version), Judge Dredd, Commando, Kick Ass, Kill Bill, or other (you name it)?
--Kill Bill. Love that flick.

So are all lawyers crooks, or just the good ones?
--All of them. Including my wife.

Which player in Cobb other than Ong, Hernandez, or Barrios, have you desperately craved to have on your team?
--Kirk White. I love the thought of rolling out Silva for six innings, then handing the ball to White to finish it off.

Is there any problem in HBD that can't be solved with a spreadsheet?
--Definitely not. The same goes for problems in life.

Davey Silva
Wichita
Wankers
Age: 32	B/T: R/R
Born: Jarabacoa, DO
Position(s): P (SP1)
View Hardball Dynasty Profile

Who are the top 5 Wankers of all time? And who is the franchises "Mr. Wanker?"
--1. Davey Silva; 2. Grant Keats; 3. Carlton Nelson; 4. Dorian Woolf; 5. Tony Cho. Grant Keats is definitely Mr. Wanker. He was really my first stud who helped lead our rise after our rebuilding effort. I hated to let him go, but I had too many good players ready to break into the bigs when he hit free agency. (If I had to do it again, I'd re-sign him, though.)

In the decidedly nasty NL East, who is your biggest rival?
--No one team is more of a rival than another. This division has been so tough for so long, it's just a matter of not finishing last.

How has your life become easier since mrploppie landed in the NL East?
--Well, in the short-term, he's made the division a little easier while he embarks on a rebuilding effort. In the long-term, I know I never need to worry too much if he acquires a great player, because they'll probably be gone by the next time we go head-to-head.

You are giving out Christmas gifts to your fellow NL East owners, what do each of them get (other than a lump of coal)?
--alogman1 gets a torn labrum for Dean Hernandez. rbf_4 gets a one-way plane ticket to Wichita for Tony Cho. And mrploppie gets a nice wristwatch. (Look at his record. That's punishment enough.)

Owner Q & A - yanks21

2010-11-03T13:43:00.000-04:00

Tito McQueen - Cobb Times Herald

Today we have the pleasure of interviewing legendary Cobb owner yanks21, a five time World Champion in Cobb with his Omaha Sluggers franchise. His teams are great, but can he interview? Read on and find out!

Having won 5 World Series titles in Cobb, and 14 overall in HBD, do you ever wake up in the morning wondering how you got to be so dominant?
--Every morning I wake up look in the morning and view greatness. In all seriousness, I've figured out a pretty good system and been pretty lucky. Thats always a good combination for success.

Does HBD dominance translate into money, fast cars, and nice houses?

--Oh yeah, I've got a butler and maid for my 1 bedroom high rise in Arlington, VA. Pimped out my Honda CRV, and make it rain at all the strip clubs. Now if you only asked me about loose women.

Other than Jose Barrios, who is your favorite player in the history of the Omaha Sluggers?
--It has to be Kaz Ong. Without him leading the staff the sluggers never see that run of success.

How many statues outside of Rosenblatt Stadium is Barrios going to get after his retirement, and will they be as big as George Steinbrenners?
--Not sure as to the #, but it will definitely exceed Steinbrenners, just not the one I am working on erecting of myself shortly.

So in real life, are you a Mets fan?
--Ouch!

What was the best trade you have ever made in Cobb?
--Has to be for either Barrios or Ong. Probably a tie between those two. There is no way the sluggers win 5 series in 7 seasons without those two.

What was the worst trade you have ever made in Cobb?
--Probably dealing Pat Barber, a hall famer, for a A.J. Buck.

Which musical artist would you most like to pursue the nuclear option on, and which band would play your theme music?
--I know nothing of a nuclear option, but O.A.R. is the Sluggers band.

Should Sean Hill be in the Hall of Fame?
--It would be hard to justify that he is a hall of famer. I would have a hard time voting in any pitcher especially a reliever with a career WHIP of 1.43 and ERA over 4.

Cops or Cheaters - which television show would you like to appear on most and why?
--Cops, sounds safer.

Star Wars - Awesome or overrated?
--First three were awesome, last three were pretty weak.

Which players (pitcher and position) on another team in Cobb do you covet the most?
--Always wanted Dean Hernandez and came close to landing him when he was up for trade. But now, it would have to be Howard Hall of Montgomery. Always prefer pitching.

After ten straight seasons of untouchable awesomeness, how did it feel to be looking at another team on top of the NL West?
--A little weird but I knew it was coming, hard to stay on top long with the budget restrictions and drafting low in the first round year after year.

How is the rebuild going, are we looking at a near return of the Omaha dynasty?
--It's going to take a little while, have some nice young position players in Brutus Myers, Eddie Bird and the now injured Vic Sosa, but short on starting pitching beyond Albie Lopez. I'll need to land a couple of internationals hopefully.

Which young player on your team do you hope retires in a Slugger uniform, if any?
--Not particularly attached to any youngster on my team right now. Just want to ensure that Barrios retires in a slugger uniform.

Jose Barrios
Omaha
Sluggers
Age: 39	B/T: L/L
Born: Darillo, NI
Position(s): LF/1B/RF/DH
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Do you think there will ever be another player in Cobb that will come close to challenging Barrios' numerous records?
--Hard to see someone matching 800 hrs, 3000 hits, 2000 RBIs, 2000 runs.

Money not being an issue, what car would you like to drive to work every day?
--Never been a car guy, but I've always like BMW's. Preferrably something in the 5 or 7 series.

Who is your favorite MLB player of all time?
--Paul O'neill. Always been a huge fan of how he played the game.

How nice is the press buffet at Rosenblatt Stadium? Do you provide Omaha Steak Co. products?
--Oh yeah, they have their own restaurant in the stadium, How do you think the Yankees got the idea for NYY Steak?

What is your favorite viral video? If you have one please provide a link!
--How do you think I discovered Justin Bieber?

Who would you consider to be your biggest rival in Cobb World, or are you simply without equal?
--Not sure I have a rival, but I thoroughly enjoyed beating pieo in 3 world series.

Thanks again to yanks21 for taking the time to answer the Cobb Times Herald's questions!

Owner Q & A - wihargo

2010-10-29T13:29:00.000-04:00

Tito McQueen - Cobb Times Herald

Today the Cobb Times Herald sits down with owner wihargo, who has been in Cobb for 12 seasons, winning World Series in season 16.

Tell us a little bit about the world series winning owner wihargo, does your username have any special meaning, and who is your favorite Major League team?
-- wihargo is something I came up with after scrambling my initials and adding some letters. I mean no disrespect to any of the actual Wihargos who are out there. Growing up in Canada, I followed the Expos. I switched allegiances to the D-Rays when the Expos decided to leave. I only like teams that play indoors.

Everyone knows that Eric Collins is not only a pitching maestro, but has one of the best mustaches since Rollie Fingers. If you could wear the Collins stache, would you?
--As an experiment, I did try to grow one... looked real bad.

Eric Collins
Florida
Almendares
Age: 33	B/T: R/R
Born: Exeter, CA
Position(s): P (SP1)
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If you wouldn't wear the Collins mustache, is there any facial hair combo that you do prefer?
-- Would a couple of days' growth count?

What is your favorite obscure baseball stat that you use to evaluate your players?
-- Lately, I've been using wOBA to evaluate hitters. You can't live and die with stats in HBD, but I think you have to consider them to really understand the ratings.

Is Hades Booker a Hall of Famer?
-- I think he is. He was truly dominant when he played for ploppie. Booker could get in on that alone.

Hades Booker
Florida
Almendares
Age: 39 B/T: R/R
Born: Hancock, MI
Position(s): 1B/LF/DH
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Which Greek God not currently in the HBD name database needs to be, and why?
--Eros. I 'haven't seen that one yet. I think it would work well as long as the player had a moustache.

Which Greek God (or Goddess) best represents wihargo?
-- Hermes, because I think it would be cool to travel and be witty. I aspire to be like the Dos Equis guy and I think this god comes closest.

If wihargo has theme music, what is it?
-- Sam & Dave, “Hold On I’m Coming.” I’m always late. This is what should be played when everyone is waiting for me to get someplace.

Which literary epic would you rather read if there were nothing else to do and you were stuck on an island; Tristram Shandy, a Cock and Bull Story; or War and Peace? Or would you rather just dig a hole in the sand all day?
-- Tristam Shandy. According to Wikipedia, the author was "no friend to gravity" and I don’t like gravity much either, especially if I’m stuck on an island.

Which player(s) on your teams have been underrated for what they bring to the table, who are your unsung heroes?
-- Archie Gulan is practically Rick Honeycutt out of the Almendare bullpen and I sometimes forget about him. I always underrated Sarma O'Conner- his power made him a more valuable hitter than I realized. Lewis Allen was a wickedly good short stop for a long time and holds nearly every major Almendares hitting record. I allowed him to leave as a free agent when I should have realized how valuable he was to the team and extended him.

What was your greatest HBD moment?
-- Signing Hades Booker was really exciting. He was expensive, but I felt as though I had just taken a big step forward.

How frustrating is it having two Eric Collins that are both very nice starting pitchers? Are there lots of uniform and groupie mix-ups?
--The one without the moustache would wear a fake moustache to team events to confuse everyone. As a result, we didn't offer him a contract this year.

Which medieval occupation would you most want to do - Gong Farmer, Headsman, Torturer, Minstrel, Monk, Brewer, Knight, or Alchemist?
-- Knight. Basically, in my case, this would have involved a lot of hanging out. Who's going to tell a knight what to do?

WHIP or FIP, which do you prefer?
-- I like FIP. A guy could give up a ton of HRs and still have a low WHIP.

Who are some of your favorite players in Cobb history?
-- Dallas Kline was awesome; Jose Barrios; Pedro Franco is a very dangerous hitter; Dean Hernandez and Kaz Ong are still wicked pitchers.

What is the best trade you ever made in Cobb?
- Darryl Young for Reggie Serafini. Young is a fine player and Pawtucket will probably be considered to have won this trade in the end. I think, however, that Serafini was a difference maker during the Season 16 playoff run. It also helped that ploppie traded me future HOF Kenny Blair during the playoff push to fill Young's spot.

Which players (pitcher and hitter) on another Cobb team have you always coveted?
--I always thought Kory Arnold on Anaheim would be an awesome hitter to have. I'm sure every owner has wondered how their rotation would look if they had Dean Hernandez as their #1.

Going forward in Cobb, what are your short and long term prospects?
--This year I'm trying to stay competitive while adding a few complimentary pieces through the draft. I haven't been able to focus on the draft for a couple of seasons due to time issues- I think I can this year though and I'm excited about it. Next year I'm hoping to sign core players to extensions and add some top talent through free agency.

Finally, what is your favorite deep fried food?
--The blooming onion.

Ultimate Lineups in Cobb History - S2 Huntington Hillbillies

2010-10-28T18:37:00.002-04:00

Skeet McGrew - Cobb Times Herald

With all the talk around the league of who has the best lineup, the Times Herald is taking a retrospective look at some of the most dominant lineups in the history of Cobb World. In the first of a continuing series, we examine in depth the original murderer's row in Cobb, the season two Huntington Hillbillies, which to this day might still be the most awe inspiring collection of hitters the league has ever seen.

The Season Two Huntington Hillbillies

--The Huntington Hillbillies won the first World Series in Cobb History in season 1, behind some truly impressive bats. But this team really came into their own as an offensive megapower in season 2, when they scored a mind boggling 1,383 runs and had five of their eight position players make the All Star Team. To put that number in perspective, in season 17 the top scoring team was Vancouver, who led Cobb World with 934 runs. So who were the cogs in this incredible offensive machine, of which seven starters knocked in over 100 runs, and had six players with an OPS over 1.000? Only some of the most legendary names in Cobb; Barrios, McConnell, Tavarez, and Newman to name a few. Huntington ultimately lost in the World Series that season, but it wasn't the fault of the offense, that much is for sure. Following is a positional analysis of one of the best teams in Cobb History.

Catcher - Vitas Newman *ALL STAR*
--Newman was one of the greatest offensive catchers in early Cobb history, with humongous power and a tremendous batting eye. In season two he batted .326 with 126 runs, 35 HR's, 128 RBI's, 107 walks, and an OPS of 1.131. Those numbers still stand as some of the best ever put up by a catcher in a single season.

First Base - Francisco Tavarez *ALL STAR*
-- Tavarez might not have been the most talented member of the lineup, that honor surely belonged to Barrios, but he did put up the best season of all of the Hillbillies, and the best season of any player in Cobb history. Tavarez's legendary season saw him hit .411 with 144 runs, 39 doubles, 46 HR's, 165 RBI's, and an OPS of 1.321. He also had a 27 game hitting streak that season. To this day no other hitter for any team in Cobb has surpassed the .400 mark for the season, or posted an OPS as high. Amazingly, Tavarez didn't win the MVP, as that honor went to another player in this lineup.

Second Base - Fred McConnell *ALL STAR*
--In the history of Cobb leadoff men McConnell stands tall, and his numbers in season 2 are no exception. He batted .353 with 173 runs, 48 doubles, 28 triples, 29 HR's, 130 RBI's, 116 walks, 35 SB's, and an OPS of 1.184. It's hard to believe that those numbers weren't the best on his team, given that McConnell's year ranks 5th all time in single season OPS.

Shortstop - Louie Sanchez
--Perhaps the weakest link in the Hillbillies lineup in season two was SS Louie Sanchez. But weakness is relative, as he still hit .285 with 143 runs, 33 HR's, 134 RBI's, 89 walks, and an OPS of .977. On most any other team in any other year those would be the numbers of an all star, but for this Hillbillies lineup was only good enough to bat seventh or eighth in the lineup.

Third Base - Shawn Philips *ALL STAR*
--The hot corner is usually the domain of a slugger, and Philips handled that role well for Huntington in season two. He batted .347 with 121 runs, 42 doubles, 35 HR's, 130 RBI's, and an OPS of 1.033. Not too shabby!

Left Field - Ray Moeller
--Moeller has the dubious distinction of being one of two members of the Hillbillies lineup to post an OPS below .900 in season 2. All Moeller did was bat .287 with 124 runs, 37 doubles, 17 HR's, 94 RBI's, and an OPS of .857.

Center Field - Trent King
--King was the other player in the Hillbillies lineup to be sub .900 in OPS in season 2, but not by much. He hit .308 with 90 runs, 34 doubles, 15 HR's, 105 RBI's, and an OPS of .887. It's safe to say though that most teams would be happy with that production from their CF.

Right Field - Jose Barrios *ALL STAR*
--Now universally recognized as the greatest player in the history of Cobb, Barrios was merely an awesomely talented youngster for the Hillbillies in season 2. He was the anchor of the lineup, and won the MVP that season with another one of the single greatest years in Cobb history, batting .338 with 173 runs, 66 HR's, 174 RBI's, 129 walks, and an OPS of 1.214, the third greatest OPS in Cobb history.

Bench
--The Hillbillies bench wasn't a slouch either, with every regular sub posting an OPS of essentially .800 or higher. Notable among them was Randall Sikorski, with an OPS of 1.001 in 218 AB's, P.T. Henderson posting a .912 OPS with 99 runs and 83 RBI's in 435 AB's, and Jim Oliver, who posted a .797 OPS in 259 AB's.

So there you have it, on paper and in practice one of the single greatest lineups in Cobb history. It may not have been the most balanced, but no other lineup since has posted the kind of slugging numbers that Huntington did in season two.