You Thieving Bastards!

Kiko B. Real - Cobb Times Herald

Steals, swipes, SB's, whatever you want to call them there are few players in Cobb world history who have been able to steal a base with regularity.  To date, there are only 5 members of the 800 club, all elite base stealing artists who have used the fine art of theft to record their place in history.  In honor of Charlie Erving's eventual move into the top spot this season, today we are profiling the five top base swipers in Cobb history.

5. Marc Reagan - 800 Stolen Bases

Marc Reagan none none Age: 37 B/T: L/L Born: Middle Island, NY Position(s): CF/CIF/2B/OF/DH View Hardball Dynasty Profile

Bugs Moran

When asked which famous thief he most identified himself with, Reagan chose the notorious 1920's gangster Bugs Moran.  "Of course Bugs Moran is my thieving idol," he said, "for crying out loud, Bugs was the inventor of the drive-by, I mean, can you think of any more allegorical term for base swiping?   He was the inspiration behind my trademarked machine gun spray celebration every time I stole a base.  And it is a testament to my tommy gun and base stealing abilities that I never ran out of bullets." 

Reagan spent the bulk of his career with the Jackson Pollocks, and stole a career best 87 bases in season 10.  He was never an all star at the ML level, but was a notorious clubhouse prankster, and a great teammate by all accounts.  "I remember the time he put itching powder all over Woody Oleruds bed (a notorious neat freak at the time) and told him that it was probably bedbugs.  That was a riot!," reminisced former Pollocks SP Tori Person.

4. Alfredo Cruz - 801 Stolen Bases

Alfredo Cruz none none Age: 35 B/T: L/L Born: Mineral, VA Position(s): LF/DH View Hardball Dynasty Profile

Al Capone

Cruz had a very quick answer when describing his favorite thief of all time.  "Al Capone, because he gunned down Bugs Moran," Cruz explained, "You see, I never liked Marc Reagan, especially that stupid tommy gun business.  There is no place for that on the baseball field.  I vowed I wouldn't retire until I was insurmountable in my stolen base total, and once I reached my goal of 801 steals, I did it.  Now he will always be looking up at me in the rankings." 

The mercurial Cruz, who spent only 7 seasons in the major leagues, is also the single season base stealing leader, posting 211 stolen bases in season 8, a number that will likely never be topped.  "He was kind of a jerk, but man could he run," remembered SP Ralph Hill of his days in Scranton with Cruz.  "I think he was kind of offended by players like Marc Reagan showing off and thinking they were all that, when he was busy doubling their stolen base totals."  Cruz ultimately tired of playing baseball after being played at 1B for several seasons and then being demoted to the minors for "not posting a high enough OPS" by what he called the "idiot Bill James Moneyball Bastards" in the front office of the Philadelphia franchise at the time.

3. Al Rosario - 842 Stolen Bases (Active)

Al Rosario Pawtucket G-Maniacs Age: 34 B/T: L/L Born: Millers Creek, NC Position(s): RF/1B/LF/DH View Hardball Dynasty Profile

Robin Hood

Rosario likes to compare himself to Robin Hood when it comes to thieves.  "I really like him because not only did he steal for good and all that stuff, but he was more than just a thief.  He was a ladies man with Maid Marian, could shoot a mean longbow, and used to be a knight under King Richard.  I would like to think of myself as a baseball version of that, I can do many things on the field, not just steal bases."

Indeed, Rosario is more than just a base stealing threat, having popped nearly 300 HR's in his career, is a 4 time all star, World Series Champion, and former Silver Slugger RF. His top basestealing year though came in Iowa City during season 14 when he pilfered 93 bases for the Corn Dogs.  He is still plying his trade for the Pawtucket G-Maniacs, and while his speed has slowed down, (only 50 SB's last season) he is still a very productive bat and veteran presence in the G's lineup. 

2. Charlie Erving - 881 Stolen Bases (Active)

Charlie Erving San Francisco Earthquakes Age: 33 B/T: R/R Born: Hatch, NM Position(s): 2B/CIF/OF/DH View Hardball Dynasty Profile

Kaiser Söze

Erving is primed and ready to take over the top spot in Cobb all time stolen bases, needing only 7 more to reach that lofty height.  He compares himself to Kaiser Söze, saying, "You never know I have stolen a base until you look over to 1st and see that I am already gone."  Indeed, Erving is the best base stealer to date in Cobb, and still has several years of good baseball left in him.  "It is my goal to steal 1000 bases, and become the first player in Cobb history to reach that mark," Erving also remarked.

His Earthquake teammates describe Erving as a humble and quiet fellow, but fiercely driven.  "I came up through the system with him at the same time, and if it weren't for the fact that you could see him you would never know he is standing there," said teammate Andres Tatis of Erving, "He's a pretty complex fellow though, he watches foreign films and stuff like that, and even reads the Guardian.  I mean, what other baseball player do you know that reads a British newspaper?"  The multiple all star and silver slugger might not let you know it, but he certainly respects the milestone he is about the reach, and the man who currently owns it.


1. Emmanuel Castillo - 888 Stolen Bases

Emmanuel Castillo none none Age: 37 B/T: R/R Born: Bani, DO Position(s): LF/1B/DH View Hardball Dynasty Profile

Pancho Villa

When it comes to base stealing threats, there has been nobody in Cobb like Hall of Famer Emmanuel Castillo.  One of the greatest leadoff men to play the game, Castillo compared himself to Pancho Villa, the Mexican revolutionary general.  "I would like to think of myself as a great man, such as Villa, a hero to his people, who fought for what was right, and was a noble thief.  I stole the bases for the good of my team, but would do whatever it took to win, that was my role, just as Villa," said Castillo. 

Indeed, Castillo may soon be surpassed by Erving at the top of the list, but it will take some doing for Erving to surpass Castillo as a leadoff man and historical threat.  In addition to his stolen bases (4 seasons with 100 or more), Castillo scored 1,639 runs, was a 4 time all star, and a World Champion.  "Emmanuel was a class act," said former Corn Cleat teammate Ben Harris, "and as good a player to play the game as there was.  Having him and Marino Sierra at the top of the order was something to see, it was like watching two cheetahs flying around out there on the bases!" 

When asked about Eving breaking his record, Castillo was contemplative, "It will be hard to lose my place at the top, but time passes and the game changes, and it was bound to happen eventually.  Really though I am just glad it wasn't Marc Reagan, that tommy gun business was bush league, and Erving is a class act."

Season 21 World Series Preview

Lars the Greek - Special to Cobb Times Herald

Lars the Greek is back from his hiking trip into Afghanistan and subsequent 4 year imprisonment in Iran to offer you the Season 21 World Series preview.  This year we have the slightly above average NL East champ Wichita Wankers versus the AL West champ Tacoma Jerry Gang in a battle of fighting 4 seed wildcard warriors.  Both teams have ridden some stellar playoff play to the title round, and one lucky owner will end their long suffering playoff drought, as between these two there have been four previous World Series appearances with no hardware to show for it.  So who will lose the least and luck into their title?  Read on and find out!


Wichita Wankers
--The Wankers certainly didn't expect to be in this position, as they announced a rebuilding effort at the start of the season, and traded star Dorian Woolf at the trading deadline for prospects.  Yet some potent weapons still remain on the team, first and foremost SP Davey Silva.  Once again the future HOFer has been unhittable in the playoffs, and has been able to help dominate a short series to get Wichita to the final round.  If he can get support from just one other pitcher it is possible he could win three games all by himself.  In the lineup there certainly has been an unexpected hero in George Sears, who has been on fire in the playoffs, supporting Carlton Nelson and Vic Flores admirably.  But it has really been a group effort for the Wankers, with nobody outside of Silva and Sears truly distinguishing themselves. 


Tacoma Jerry Gang
--The Jerry Gang have proven their mettle in this playoff year, defeating the always tough Cleveland Steamers and the up and coming KC Seether on the way to the finals.  Juan Javier has been a house of fire for the lineup, with 6 HR's and 17 RBI's, and is clearly the driving force for run production for the offense.  The pitching has been led by a balanced rotation featuring no pitcher with more then 2 wins.  But Al Gomez certainly could have had some more with better run support, has he has posted a 1.00 ERA and a .81 WHIP in 27 IP in the playoffs, but with only 2 wins to show for it.  He has been unhittable and could be the foil to Silva. 

Lars Key to the Series
--On paper Tacoma has the better lineup, and Lars thinks that will show over time.  But Wichita has Davey Silva, whose numbers speak for themselves.  A lot will be asked of the Wichita ace if he is to earn his first World Series ring.  All it takes is one loss and suddenly Tacoma will be in the drivers seat regarding pitching matchups.  Silva has to be perfect, and if he is Wichita will win.  If not, the Wankers will be looking on as Tacoma denies them their championship for the fourth time. 

Lars Crystal Ball
--Lars wants to say that the Tacoma Jerry Gang will win, as their team is clearly more talented top to bottom.  But something about the Wankers this season is shining a bright beacon through his crystal ball.  The Wankers cannot be denied, and this is the year they will finally win, proving yet again in Cobb that a wild card team can be deadly in the playoffs.  Wankers in 6.

Commish vs ex-Commish: HOF Smackdown II

It would be reasonable to ask – why do we need yet another catcher in the Hall of Fame? However, while Eddie Helms is a guy who may not have the flashy home run totals of Jones and Stanton, he was clearly a dominant force in his day, at his position and he has a World Series ring to show for it. On top of that, his career average of .320 is far and away better than Jones .280 and Stanton’s .267. Helms’ OPS of .937 is clearly superior to Jones’ and Stanton’s .906 and .862, respectively. Oh, and there’s this little thing called defense, fairly important for a catcher apparently. Helms has a superior CERA to either Stanton or Jones and threw out a higher percentage of baserunners than Stanton. It’s no coincidence that at the “helm” of the Anaheim Sharks, Eddie led the charge to playoff appearances in 10 of 13 seasons, but the Sharks have only done better than 3rd in their division once since his departure in S16. For serious students of the game, this really shouldn’t be a question.

Eddie Helms none none Age: 39 B/T: R/R Born: Sonora, TX Position(s): C/DH View Hardball Dynasty Profile

Eddie Helms isn't a name that most people in Cobb are familiar with, and there is a good reason why. It's because he wasn't one of the best catchers to ever play the game, merely one of the good ones. If Patrick Stanton and Vernon Jones saw that Helms was elected to join their number in the Hall, I am pretty sure they would have to send a beatdown committee to visit the voters who put him there. Simply look at the awards, 6 AS appearances to Jones and Stantons 8; 3 Silver Sluggers to Jones and Stantons 4, less runs, hits, RBI, and HR's in similar games played. Quite simply, Helms just doesn't measure up to Jones and Stanton, who are the gauge by which all catchers in Cobb should be measured when being considered for the Hall of Fame.

Commish v. ex-Commish: HOF Smackdown

Part I of a two part series to inform and educate around a couple potential HOF candidates. Feel free to comment for either case! (Especially mine!)

First on the block: Marino Sierra

Marino Sierra none none Age: 39 B/T: L/L Born: Puerto Piritu, VE Position(s): LF/1B/DH View Hardball Dynasty Profile

FW - For all you young Turks out there who may not have been around the league during the good old days of seasons 1 through 10, you might not be familiar with Marino Sierra, who along with Fred McConnell was perhaps the most feared leadoff man in the early days of Cobb. At the time of his retirement he had nearly 2500 hits, hit for high average and got on base at an impressive clip, scored over 1,600 runs, was the all time leader in doubles at 578, hit nearly 300 HR's, and had over 500 SB's. When you take into consideration that he did this playing over half of his games in the pitchers parks in Omaha and Sioux Falls, those numbers have more meaning. Furthermore, his 529 stolen bases are even more impressive because before season 8, the SIM engine hideously lowered the amount of stolen bases by players in HBD. If Sierra had played in modern times, he would have been a 80+ base swiper every season. He may have never won an MVP, but when you are in your prime and play the same position in the same league as the legendary Jose Barrios, MVP's just aren't going to go your way. Despite this, Sierra still managed 6 AS appearances and 2 Silver Slugger LF's at the same time Barrios was manning that position! Don't hold it against Sierra that he was in his prime when the SIM engine and Jose Barrios were trying to keep him down, he's one of the all time greats of the early days of Cobb and deserves to be in the Hall of Fame. Furthermore, and on a serious note, there isn't a single leadoff man in the Cobb Hall of Fame currently, and that is a trend that needs to change. Just because a player hasn't hit 500 home runs doesn't mean he doesn't deserve a spot. Players like Sierra and McConnell have earned their place.

dwool - Oh, Nate. You lovable hayseed. Sure Sierra was good, but this is the Hall of Fame, not the Hall of Very Good. At the end of the day we need to ask ourselves, was this player elite? A champion? In his era, was he a dominant force at his position? And here my friend, we have to acknowledge a couple key points, first NO RINGS. As good as he was, he didn’t pick his team up, put them on his broad, manly shoulders and carry them to the promised land. Second, there are a couple gentlemen by the names of Jose Cervantes and Hades Booker who also patrolled the outfield in the early days of Cobb, who are patiently waiting for the call – and both are flashing World Series rings and similar or better OPS. Once those guys are in, let me know and I’ll give Sierra another look.

Rounding Second and Heading for Third

The last installment of beat reporter wihargo's FA analysis centers on potentially available second and third basemen. When bidding, always remember, fortune favors the bold!

Brad Mann is surrounded by questions this offseason: will his glove force a move off of 2B? will he be the next player to receive the max deal? The answer in both cases depends on how much teams value his elite bat.

Angel Vazquez still has good plate discipline and might have one more useful season in him. Lynn Curtis is a dependable defender at 3B and effective against LHP.

Mark Bigbie, still looking to recover his power stroke, might decide to go out on top and retire after winning the World Series.

Brad Mann 0.403 5.69
Angel Vazquez 0.340 2.89
Frank Hartgraves 0.336 2.64
Lynn Curtis 0.344 2.53
John McGowan 0.330 2.36
Jack Carpenter 0.328 2.25
Joel Valentin 0.317 1.71
Garret Wells 0.280 1.47
Giomar Julio 0.314 1.41
Mark Bigbie 0.293 1.37
Wilfredo Henriquez 0.311 0.96

Flashing the Leather

No, we're not talking about another night of debauchery for FW_Kekionga at the local cowboy watering hole. No, we are talking about those defensive wizards who will quietly win games - usually by making the difficult look routine. According to our beat reporter:

The best of this group is very good; the rest is medicore but useful. Charles Reese has won 3 CF silver sluggers and is a perennial 20/20 man. Lorenzo, who also blends power and speed, has been an All Star at short and has hit for the cycle twice. Bonilla is probably the best SS available in free agency, and is also a 5 time All Star.

Alberto Gutierrez is a rangy fielder while D'Angelo Romero is the prototypical sure handed vet. Both might have to transition to a platoon or bench role this season.

Charles Reese 0.385 5.32
Erubiel Bonilla 0.360 4.21
Fernando Lorenzo 0.337 3.32
Willie Gandarilla 0.317 1.66
Alberto Gutierrez 0.302 1.62
Luther McNamara 0.291 1.56
D'Angelo Romero 0.301 1.55
Odalis Ramirez 0.292 1.18
Pedro Sojo 0.274 1.08
Raymond Sanford 0.324 1.07
Edwin Ward 0.278 1.01

Get 'em before your rival does or you'll regret down the home stretch.

Catch Me If You Can!

So you say you want to enhance your staff? (don't worry Kid - not naming names!) No better way than to add one of these capable receivers to your franchise. Get settled into your crouch and check out the dish on these potential FA's!

Several top catchers are available this off season. Serafini and Scalici are both above average bats who have won silver sluggers. Lowry and Mairena are good choices for teams that need an offensive minded back-up catcher. Juan James had a .336 wOBA against LHP last year.

w/OBA WAR
Reggie Serafini .346 4.16
Ron Scalici .352 3.47
JP Wilfredo .330 3.21
Rich Perez .348 3.12
Sammy Hunt .321 3.08
James Lowry .379 2.85
Juan James .309 2.21
Al Lee .312 2.09
Louie Mairena .343 1.81
Vince Ferguson .300 0.880

Not Quite Franchise Cornerstones

A quick look at potential FA corner outfielders reveals that no more than a quick look is necessary.

Randy Rose and Yamid Mairena both have three consecutive 20 HR seaons and lead a relatively weak crop of free agent corner OFs. Darrin Barkley may have lost a step but his contact, bunting and baserunning skills could make him useful to the right team.

Player wOBA WAR
Randy Rose 0.348 3.16
Darrin Barkley 0.350 2.81
Yamid Mairena 0.339 2.50
Luis Nunez 0.351 1.94
Babe Williams 0.328 1.72
Tanner Carillo 0.325 1.72
Carlton Nelson 0.326 1.67
Jose Gandarillas 0.323 1.52

All of this implies that Mr. Rose might be in for a substantial "over"-payday. If you need a big hitter here, you might need be better off hitting the phones. In fact, mrploppie assures me he has (or can acquire) several high quality COF's for a very reasonable price.

FA Pitchers, a buyer's market

Depending on how things shake out during the window of time teams have to negotiate with their free agents, season 21 could be a real buyers market. Here are the free agent leaders in FIP with stamina greater than 50:

Long Relievers/Swing Men:

Name IP ERA FIP
Tony Terrero 28.2 2.20 3.02
Matty Palmer 46.0 3.91 3.55
Sam Roberts 79.0 4.22 3.60
Bernie Almonte 54.2 5.10 3.64
Tom Gibson 171.2 4.46 3.88
Derrick Bird 44.0 4.50 4.14
Hector Chavez 76.0 5.33 4.34
Vance Weaver 138.2 4.28 4.36
Kenneth Mann 124.2 3.97 4.50
Humberto Diaz 57.2 3.90 4.52

Starters:

Name IP ERA FIP
Jesus Pujols 229.2 3.33 3.39
Zephyr Burns 194 3.71 3.69
Jerry Ross 152 3.32 3.80
Erubiel Owen 215.2 4.38 4.07
Talmadge Young 179 3.72 4.07
Peter Hinske 203 4.03 4.08
Kent Upshaw 125 4.75 4.30
Frank Harper 153.2 4.86 4.32
Parker Ellis 181 3.98 4.36
Roosevelt Fox 185.1 4.81 4.43

All-Time Great:

Kaz Ong 150.2 4.00 4.54

Ex-Commish Admits to Fathering Love Child with Ploppie’s Sister

In one of the most shocking and prurient revelations in Cobb history, Times Herald reporters have confirmed that for the past nine seasons, FW_Kekionga and ploppie’s sister have been engaged in a passionate, lustful and at times . . . tender relationship culminating in the birth of a son, who was rumored to be playing baseball in the Dominican Republic.




When asked if this discovery triggered his abrupt departure, FW chokingly admitted that was the case. “It all started shortly after clinching the division championship in S11. For years, it had been nothing but frustration, but to finally reach the top like that . . . well, let’s just say something finally burst from inside and ploppie’s sister was there for me. Then there was Tanker-Gate, when I just needed someone to talk to after a hard day on the chat boards. I tell ya, those were dark days indeed, and I couldn’t have gotten through them without her.”

FW seemed as adept at leading a double life as he was crafting draft reviews for this publication . . . until he learned the fateful news. “When she first told me, I was in a state of shock. I just couldn’t believe this house of cards I had been building was all about to come crashing down. Then she told me he was a switch-hitter and I couldn’t hold back any longer. I’m not afraid to admit it, I just sat there at my desk and wept tears of joy.”

FW tried to maintain the façade for another season or two, but when he started doing the math and calculated the costs of sending a child to Rice or UNC for four years he realized he would have to give up his $5 per year commissioner job and seek more lucrative work. He had just returned from an interview for a scouting position at Baseball America when he was approached by a Times Herald reporter. “Hey FW, did you hear the one about ploppie’s sister having a kid? There she was, in a bar with a minister, a rabbi and a priest when . . . “ and then FW blurted out “I KNOW, it’s me, it’s me, I admit it, I’m the father, now will you parasites STOP HOUNDING ME?!?!” And once again, the relentless staff at the Times Herald landed the scoop.

When asked to comment, ms. Ploppie simply said . . .”FW who? Oh, you mean the one who sends those checks every month? Oh yeah, he’s a real sweet boy. His first wife, of course, is that stupid baseball game, but at least I don’t have to worry about anyone knocking on my door. Now that new guy in town, jvford? He looks like a hunk, I’m gonna have to break out my Mary Kay a bottle of tequila and go tap that!”

And like a Greek tragedy, the characters go about trying to pick up the pieces of their shattered lives? Will FW ever be able to re-claim his authority from the tyrant who has seized his desk? Will FW Jr. be drafted by mrploppie only to be neglected when it comes time for a contract offer? Will jvford be properly initiated into World Cobb? These and other questions will soon be answered by your diligent and creative Time Herald reporters.

Owner Q&A - dwoolery

Who is Dwoolery and how did you steal the Commissioner job away from FW_Kekionga?
-I’m the guy who knows where the bodies are buried . . . AND I’ve got a shovel. (Plus I could really use that $5 credit each season, your sister said her rates were going up.)

Nate is a great guy, why kick him to the curb? (ya rat bastid)
-Hey, backoff grandpa! I’m doing the guy a favor. When you read the latest Cobb Herald expose, everything will be revealed, and I mean everything . . . EVERYTHING!!

Are you any relation to the great game show host Chuck Woolery?
-Don’t tell anyone, but I’m the first successful human clone. Well, mostly successful if you disregard the third arm.

What is Chuck Woolery like?
-Just like me, except older, uglier and smarmier.





Can you get me Chuck Woolery's autograph? (I once staked out his house for a couple of days, but he kept his curtains closed)
-That was my house Sherlock.

How long is a restraining order good for?
-Until you find another mark, or the alzheimers sets in for good.

What is a Jerry Gang and why is it in Tacoma?
-It’s a gang of guys who all know how to use Google. Try it sometime.

If you could have one pitcher and hitter from any other team, who would they be?
-I’ve been trying to land that beast Quilvio Suarez for awhile, but owners keep wanting decent players back. That SOB wouldn’t be fazed a bit by Cheney Stadium. And I'd love to get that bastid Dean Hernandez back in Tacoma for one day - so the fans could show their "appreciation" for jerking us around during re-signing negotiations.

If Cobb owners came to a party , who would bring what?
-Seriously?!?! Unless it was a Star Trek convention you’d never get those dudes out of their parents’ basements. Of course, I’m specifically NOT referring to those well-heeled baseball mavens who supported my rise to power.

Which Cobb owners do you respect the most and why. ( BTW it's spelled P L O P P I E )
-Any of those who are able to lose to me with grace and dignity.

If Wile E coyote has enough money to by all that Acme crap why doesn't he buy his dinner?
-Have you ever tried to eat an ACME burrito? The fallout is NOT pretty. By the way is this about over?

Which player in Cobb would you like to be, and why do you want to be a fictional baseball player in the first place? What song would be played when you are introduced?
-Tony Arnold. Chip on his shoulder since Day 1, but shuts his mouth, does his job and proves it on the field. Bon Jovi’s Blaze of Glory.

Why doesn't the fattest man in the world become a hockey goalie?
-People still watch hockey?

Which prospect of yours are you most looking forward to seeing in the bigs?
-Jeremi Arnold. That dude is gonna win GG’s at SS AND have seasons with 45+ HR’s.

You forgot to pay my sister for last Tuesday. Please hand over $7.00.
-Tell her to check her paypal account, and her antibiotics prescription – she’s ready for a refill.

World Series Titles two,( none in Cobb) how did you do it? Those leagues must really suck!
-One did, the other was Moneyball. You have to be in it to really appreciate how competitive it is, but that’ll never happen for an ADD-inflicted tanker like you.

Juan Javier is a nice player, did you use the Jedi Mind Trick to convince MrPloppie to trade him to you? What was your best trade in Cobb?
-It was actually surprising easy, just waited for a spell of Alzheimer’s to drift in and I pounced. But I also gave up a good player in that one. I’d have to say Hollandsworth to Sioux Falls for Brandon Miller. Miller has been a very replaceable career .775 OPS, Hollandsworth will get his 100th Win for TAC this season with a 3.52 career ERA.

What do you honestly think of tankers?
-Sad, pathetic creatures that should stick to MMORPG’s.

If you can fight any famous sports figure... who would it be and why?
-Friggin Chris Chambliss. For the young punks who read this rag, he’s the jackass who torpedoed my Royals’ WS hopes in their first trip to the playoffs in 1976. Not only that, he sent a sad little 7yr old down a dark and depressing path for many years. (sniff)






Why is daubs still playing this game? A great guy......but somewhere down the line shouldn't he win something?
-I’m convinced he is actually uber-crafty and has found a way to spin this hobby into some sort of elaborate tax shelter. Winning a WS would just bring too much attention to his scam.

Which 3 Cobb owners constitute the Axis of Evil?
-Furniss13, jonboynky, brianfurnish, every so often they have the audacity to nip at my heels trying to take my division from me.

Do you have any pictures of Chuck Woolery naked?
-Why? You gonna show me some?

In Regulars you won 51 games last season with the Santa Fe Conquistadors . Why are you still in that league?
-No idea. I would have kicked me out before the end of the season. I can only guess they’re like your sister, none to picky as long as the bill gets paid.

Which Cobb owner (beside yourself)would you like to see win the World Series title and why?
-daubs23 - That poor bastid just keeps coming back for punishment. Plus it would make for a great Disney flick.


Thank You for your bull shit answers to my very informative and probing questions. (speaking of probing - I'm told that the $7.00 was for Tuesday and Wednesday )


The opinions expressed are not those of the medical profession. If you have any queries or concerns or require any further professional advice about any of the information or opinions appearing on the Forum, you should consult your doctor or health care professional.

NL All Star Breakdown

While All Star position players are determined by a vote of the fans, All Star pitchers are selected by the manager of the league champs and the players themselves. Pete Womack was at the helm of the NL and World Series Champ Montgomery Burns but bolted for the AL Tampa Buzz in the off season. As a result, Womack’s only exposure to NL pitching this year was during inter-league play. Not surprisingly, some of this year’s top NL pitching performances have been left off the All Star team.

In fairness, the very best pitchers will be at the All Star Game; Ariel Cervantes (3.8 Wins Above Replacement), Furio Kydd (3.7 WAR), Davey Silva (3.7 WAR) and Jamie Hayashi (3.6 WAR) are all represented. However, the next three most valuable pitchers didn’t make the cut. The trio of Gary Ferguson (3.3 WAR), Nolan Payton (3.1 WAR) and Michael Leonard (3.0 WAR) all have had great first halves but will stay home All Star Weekend in favor of established stars with more name recognition.

Among the fan favorites and big names going to the All Star game are Dean Hernandez (2.0 WAR) and Howard Hughes (2.0 WAR). Hernandez does lead the NL with 13 wins, and Hughes has a solid 10 – 3 record so it’s understandable why they were chosen even though neither count among the top 20 most valuable NL pitchers.

AL All Star Voters Out at 1B

So far at the All Star ballot box, American League fans have gotten a lot of things right. Jerome Mancuso and Pedro Franco have been the best hitters at their positions and lead in All Star voting. The latest in sabremetric analysis shows that at First Base and Right Field, the other ‘offensive’ positions, the voting results have so far been, well, offensive. At First and in Right, vote leaders Sean Holt and Javier Rios have done well this season posting weighted on base averages (wOBA) and Wins Above Average (WAA*) of and .390 and 1.85 and .380 and 1.44 respectively. The problem is that other hitters have done better, and it’s not really close. Making matters worse, the voters’ second choices of Pablo Rosa and Juan Baez are even farther off the mark.
Pawtuckett 1B Ajax Warley shouldn’t have All Star weekend off. Yet to win any major award, he is the best hitting First baseman the AL, worth about 2.4 WAA with a wOBA of 417. It’s not as though the fans are taking park factors into account either; Tacoma’s Jude Harris has a wOBA of .397 and 2 WAA playing in a very pitcher friendly environment.
In Right Field, Javier Rios trails 4 other Right Fielders on offense. Norfolk’s Fernando Rojas has accounted for 2.48 WAA – a full win more than current vote leader Rios - and has a wOBA of .419, but hasn’t been a factor in the All Star Voting.
No fault of the fans but worst of all, Quilvio Suarez, whose big bat has been worth 3.6 WAA so far this season – the second best in the AL – is squeezed out of the only DH spot by Pedro Franco’s 5.41 WAA monster first half.

Season 19 Draft Recap

Carlton Greely III - Special to Cobb Times Herald from Baseball Nerd Weekly

Welcome to the Cobb World Draft Recap.  Following suggestions from our subscribers, we have contracted out our draft recaps to Baseball Nerd Weekly, who bring their expertise and Specialized Talent Universal Draft Analysis (STUD Analysis) to the Cobb Times Herald.  So without further ado, here is this seasons draft recap, in team and pick order.

STUD Analysis Note: Players are rated on a scale of 1-10, with 10 being the highest. Players are rated relative to their position and how they would perform at the ML level, with a 5 being average.  N/A means the player hasn't signed and therefore has no rating.

Round	Pick	Fran	Player	Pos	Age	STUD Rating
1	5	BUR	Jolbert Picasso	P	19	8.2
3	115	BUR	Mendy Punto	SS	19	6.4
4	147	BUR	Joe Lanning	CF	19	3.8
5	179	BUR	Bobby Cosby	LF	22	3.6
						Team Grade: C+
1	18	CH1	Hank Ankiel	C	18	8.4
1	20	CH1	Chuck Foster	P	22	6.9
1	58	CH1	Alexander Siebert	P	20	6
2	95	CH1	Sam Greenberg	P	21	N/A
3	128	CH1	Jason Brooks	P	20	3.8
4	160	CH1	Bernie Corbin	P	22	4.7
5	192	CH1	Joe Sadler	P	19	3
						Team Grade: C+
1	24	CHA	Sam Bowles	P	18	N/A
1	61	CHA	Pepe Pena	P	18	N/A
1	70	CHA	Elmer Haynes	1B	18	7.2
2	99	CHA	Dan Sadler	CF	19	6.4
3	132	CHA	James Riley	P	19	4.8
4	164	CHA	Willie Diaz	P	22	3.8
5	196	CHA	Lawrence Martin	SS	20	3.3
						Team Grade: D+
1	8	CHR	Stephen Hubbard	1B	18	9.4
1	11	CHR	Josh Porter	P	19	6.9
1	29	CHR	Duke Terry	SS	18	7.5
1	35	CHR	Naoto Hong	1B	21	6.8
1	55	CHR	Buck Melton	P	18	6.8
2	87	CHR	B.J. Houston	2B	19	6
3	120	CHR	Jerrod Hall	RF	18	5.1
4	152	CHR	Harry Mendoza	CF	18	4.8
5	184	CHR	Nicholas Thurston	P	19	3.2
						Team Grade: A-
1	6	CHY	Alex Koh	P	18	9.1
1	52	CHY	Yusmeiro Jimenez	CF	22	7.5
1	67	CHY	Sean Stark	LF	19	6.8
4	148	CHY	Roy Thurman	SS	20	5.7
5	180	CHY	Joel Kelly	P	18	5.4
						Team Grade: B
1	19	CLB	Kris Dougherty	CF	18	8.2
2	94	CLB	Al Gomez	C	21	N/A
3	127	CLB	Robert Powell	P	20	2.4
4	159	CLB	Huston James	P	20	3.6
5	191	CLB	Del Sherman	P	18	N/A
						Team Grade: C
2	105	CLE	Graham Willits	P	18	6.1
3	137	CLE	Stevie Ingram	C	19	4.8
4	169	CLE	Daniel Sappelt	P	18	4.4
5	201	CLE	Yorrick Miller	P	22	3.2
						Team Grade: D-
1	4	CSP	Cody Bryant	2B	18	9.1
2	81	CSP	Omar Cornejo	LF	19	5.8
3	114	CSP	Nicholas Brandt	LF	22	N/A
4	146	CSP	Bruce Zavada	3B	18	N/A
5	178	CSP	Harry Klein	P	22	4.1
						Team Grade: C+
1	21	DOV	Shaggy Summers	C	21	8
1	38	DOV	Jerome Berger	SS	19	7.7
1	59	DOV	Tim Laxton	P	22	6.4
1	69	DOV	Matthew Cannon	SS	21	7.1
2	96	DOV	Zephyr Bradshaw	CF	19	6.1
3	116	DOV	Philip Hampton	RF	19	5.1
3	129	DOV	Wilfredo Bennett	P	18	3.4
4	161	DOV	Charley Townsend	C	19	4
5	193	DOV	Craig Smart	RF	22	5
						Team Grade: B+
1	28	ELP	Tomas Berroa	P	18	7.3
1	31	ELP	Casey Mordecai	CF	18	7.9
1	46	ELP	Russ Adcock	P	18	6.9
1	49	ELP	Weldon Howard	CF	18	6.8
1	50	ELP	Joe Ojeda	P	18	7.8
1	65	ELP	Brook Banks	P	18	6.4
1	72	ELP	Brian Roth	P	18	6.2
1	75	ELP	Pedro Calvo	P	18	6.1
2	103	ELP	Sal Meares	3B	18	5.2
2	109	ELP	Miguel Carrasquel	SS	18	6.6
3	141	ELP	Steve Hinske	3B	18	5.4
4	173	ELP	Clyde Randall	P	18	N/A
5	205	ELP	Ernie Burns	P	18	N/A
						Team Grade: B
1	42	FLA	Gabe Titan	CF	21	7.4
1	64	FLA	Rico Seanez	P	22	7.2
1	71	FLA	Britt Murray	P	18	1.2
1	74	FLA	Jermaine Berry	P	19	4
2	104	FLA	Tex Staley	P	19	6
3	136	FLA	Eddie Johnson	P	22	4
4	168	FLA	Nate Quinn	P	19	3.8
5	186	FLA	Alton Purcey	C	22	4.9
5	200	FLA	Abraham Metcalfe	SS	19	5.2
						Team Grade: C
1	1	HOU	Gill Cochrane	P	18	9.6
2	76	HOU	Marcus Booker	2B	18	N/A
3	111	HOU	Bernard Cepicky	CF	20	N/A
4	143	HOU	T.J. Lyons	3B	21	N/A
5	175	HOU	Ned Reddick	2B	19	N/A
						Team Grade: C+
1	25	IA	Luther Silvestri	P	18	5.5
1	27	IA	Jake Powell	LF	18	5.4
1	41	IA	Vin Morris	P	18	6.6
2	101	IA	Dante Joseph	C	18	5.8
3	133	IA	Trevor Thomas	2B	18	5.7
4	165	IA	Paul Tobin	SS	18	5.8
5	197	IA	Kid D'Amico	P	18	4.7
						Team Grade: D+
1	9	JAC	Nerio Donnelly	C	18	7.9
1	54	JAC	Charlie Schlehuber	P	20	6.9
2	80	JAC	Chin-Hui Kuo	P	22	5.4
2	85	JAC	Nolan Perkins	P	18	6.9
3	118	JAC	Jerome Reid	C	18	4.8
4	150	JAC	David Nelson	2B	18	3.7
5	182	JAC	Ryan Valentin	SS	18	N/A
						Team Grade: B-
1	15	KC	Ray Plesac	RF	22	7.9
2	91	KC	Donovan Payton	P	22	7.2
3	124	KC	Kris Creek	SS	19	6.7
4	156	KC	Sammy Coleman	SS	21	6.4
5	188	KC	J.T. Lansing	P	18	3.8
						Team Grade: B-
1	23	LAA	Rico Olmeda	RF	18	7.6
1	40	LAA	Albert Benavente	P	20	7
1	48	LAA	Elmer Duffy	RF	21	7.6
1	60	LAA	Andres Tavarez	CF	18	7.2
2	98	LAA	Keith Gonzales	SS	18	5.8
3	122	LAA	Humberto Vazquez	C	19	5.3
3	131	LAA	Billy Getz	SS	21	5.6
4	154	LAA	Joe Gwynn	P	21	6
4	163	LAA	Phillip Cooper	2B	22	4.8
5	195	LAA	Juan Alomar	SS	19	3.2
						Team Grade: B
1	32	MNT	Bobby Merritt	P	18	6.4
1	33	MNT	Brad Burns	SS	18	6.8
1	45	MNT	Derek Whitaker	2B	18	5.1
2	108	MNT	Matty Sosa	3B	18	5.9
3	140	MNT	Angel Ozuna	SS	18	N/A
4	172	MNT	William Rucker	C	18	6.7
5	204	MNT	Jon Burns	1B	18	N/A
						Team Grade: C-
1	63	NY2	Gary Branson	LF	18	N/A
4	167	NY2	Kenny Carlson	3B	18	5.2
5	199	NY2	Jerrod Dixon	P	18	4
						Team Grade: F
1	17	OMA	Derek Maranville	P	22	7.9
1	57	OMA	Wilton Jenner	RF	20	6.8
1	68	OMA	Eddie Rolls	LF	18	6.9
2	93	OMA	Pedro Baez	3B	20	5.9
3	126	OMA	Derrik Sparks	2B	19	5.1
4	158	OMA	Adam White	P	19	4.9
5	190	OMA	Doug Adams	P	22	2.6
						Team Grade: C+
1	13	PAW	Joey Stewart	P	18	8.1
2	100	PAW	Einar Maduro	P	21	N/A
						Team Grade: C
1	3	PIT	York Coleman	P	22	8.1
3	113	PIT	Gail Young	P	18	6
4	145	PIT	Julian Galvez	P	22	4.4
5	177	PIT	Johan Lintz	P	18	3.8
						Team Grade: C+
1	7	ROC	Arlie Pecina	P	21	8.1
1	53	ROC	Andrew Stokes	P	22	7.6
2	84	ROC	Corky Palmer	P	20	7
3	117	ROC	Esmailyn Ordonez	SS	21	N/A
4	149	ROC	Denny Cheng	P	19	4
5	181	ROC	Carlos Vargas	C	18	4.1
						Team Grade: B-
1	12	SEA	Junior Martinez	CF	18	8
1	56	SEA	Pedro Rijo	CF	22	N/A
2	88	SEA	Garret Miceli	P	20	N/A
3	121	SEA	Tris Balboa	1B	21	4.6
4	153	SEA	Bret Hogan	P	18	N/A
5	185	SEA	Brett Ulrich	P	20	3.9
						Team Grade: C *
1	10	SF	Archie Prokopec	P	18	6.9
2	86	SF	Terrence Yerkes	P	18	7.1
3	119	SF	Raul Sosa	P	20	5.6
4	151	SF	Stan Flores	P	18	5
5	183	SF	George Capps	P	18	4.9
						Team Grade: C-
1	26	SXF	Mendy Jensen	1B	20	7.6
1	62	SXF	Giovanni Butler	SS	18	7.6
2	102	SXF	Ernest Sheets	3B	19	6
3	134	SXF	Bernard Hoffpauir	CF	18	6.1
4	166	SXF	Artie Collier	RF	19	5.4
5	198	SXF	Glendon Brown	P	20	N/A
						Team Grade: B-
1	14	SYR	Bill Munoz	CF	21	8.7
1	36	SYR	Felix Perry	P	20	6.8
2	83	SYR	Hugh Newman	3B	18	7.1
2	90	SYR	Bryan Cedeno	P	18	7
3	123	SYR	Lonny Tracy	2B	22	5.2
4	155	SYR	Kouhei Kojima	LF	22	5.2
5	187	SYR	Diego Canseco	C	19	4.8
						Team Grade: B+
1	44	TAC	Fergie Boone	SS	18	N/A
2	107	TAC	Bernie James	SS	18	6.5
3	139	TAC	P.T. Coleman	P	18	N/A
4	171	TAC	Ichiro Masaoka	2B	18	N/A
5	203	TAC	Kenji Ono	3B	18	N/A
						Team Grade: D-
1	2	TB	Greg Carillo	1B	22	9.5
1	51	TB	Dennis Lewis	LF	22	8
2	77	TB	Carlton Wheeler	RF	19	6.8
2	78	TB	Curtis Swann	2B	20	6.1
3	112	TB	J.P. Torres	P	19	N/A
4	144	TB	Javy Quintero	P	20	N/A
5	176	TB	Lou Richardson	3B	18	N/A
						Team Grade: A
1	16	TOR	Haywood Brown	P	20	8.5
1	37	TOR	Jimmie Little	P	21	6
2	82	TOR	Chris Ward	P	18	6.2
2	92	TOR	Scott Gibbons	P	20	4.9
3	125	TOR	Matty Benavente	P	22	5.3
4	157	TOR	Todd Krause	SS	19	5
5	189	TOR	Blake Rogers	P	18	3.1
						Team Grade: C+
1	22	TRE	Alex Gomez	SS	18	7.9
1	39	TRE	Gerald May	P	19	8.2
2	89	TRE	Einar Noesi	P	18	N/A
2	97	TRE	Benjamin Magee	P	18	5.2
3	130	TRE	Dale Nichols	P	21	6.3
4	162	TRE	Steve Counsell	2B	22	5
5	194	TRE	Chance Hampton	LF	18	5.3
						Team Grade: B
1	34	VC	Karl Ramirez	P	21	7.9
1	47	VC	Johnnie Sinclair	P	18	6.1
1	66	VC	Perry Tipton	CF	20	6.9
1	73	VC	Clarence Adcock	P	19	6.8
2	110	VC	Gerrit Nixon	P	21	N/A
3	135	VC	Jake Sweeney	P	21	N/A
3	142	VC	Randy Briggs	SS	19	6.7
4	174	VC	Paul Delmonico	SS	21	5.2
5	206	VC	Rob Gilmore	P	22	4.1
						Team Grade: C+
1	30	WIC	Trot Tracy	P	21	7.1
1	43	WIC	Kent Jurrjens	C	22	7.1
2	79	WIC	Rick Meares	P	22	6.5
2	106	WIC	Nick Sutton	SS	20	5.8
3	138	WIC	Hoss St. Clair	2B	19	4.6
4	170	WIC	Lewis Spencer	P	20	6.1
5	202	WIC	Macbeth Upshaw	CF	22	5.1

*SIM Draft/AWOL Owner