Tito McQueen - Cobb Times Herald
A startling turn of events took place today while daubs23, the commissioner of Cobb World, was on vacation. FW_Kekionga, owner of the Sioux Falls Corn Cleats made a bold power grab and usurped the office for the day to transfer the Scranton Dragons franchise to ownership. The commissioner, who is still away watching bad teams in even worse stadiums in New York, could not be reached for comment.
Today's events started when Scranton owner steelforge announced to the league that he had suffered a horrible financial loss due to an unfortunate coincidental merging of the subprime mortgage market crisis and the Japanese mega monster Mechani-Kong. This sudden loss of fortune meant that steelforge could no longer afford the Scranton team, and a suitable replacement was found by Fargo Fug Nuts owner Cleatus Ploppie. The owner, jiml60, could not officially take the reigns of the Dragons until his petition was approved by the commissioners office.
Being unpatient with the system and desperate to get the ownership transferred, FW_Kekionga hired a crack team of ex-special forces known as the "A-Team" to get him into the Commissioners office in Chicago. After leaving the teams black van behind the building with B.A., FW_Kekionga was schmoozed into daubs penthouse office by the Faceman, who smooth talked the secretary while FW and Hannibal made their way to the commissioners quarters. Then Murdock started acting crazy in the lobby to divert attention while Hannibal picked the lock to the office door. Once inside the office, FW_Kekionga utilized the commissioners special red telephone to make the call confirming the ownership transfer. According to reports he also took a few minutes to sit in daubs extremely comfortable yet imposing leather chair, and smoked one of his cigars.
With the commissioners office still in chaos due to Murdock's antics, FW_Kekionga escaped the building and returned to his own office in Sioux Falls. When contacted about the incident, FW_Kekionga was unavailable for an interview but issued this statement, "While it may have looked like me entering the commissioners office, I can assure you it was not. It was in all likelihood an impostor posing as myself in order to make me look like a criminal with the intent of sullying my reputation within the league. I blame mrploppie, he has always had it in for me, and with my Corn Cleats not providing any competition this season, he is looking throw salt on the wounds!"
New Scranton owner jiml60 was pleased to be in the league, and has had past experiences dealing with several owners in the league, including squidvicious, alogman1, The_Kid, and the infamous mrploppie. Word from the commissioners office regarding this event is expected upon his return to service this Friday.