Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Tysons Boost Sales at MCL Cafeteria

Chuck Biscuits - Cobb Times Herald

The MCL Cafeteria corporate offices have seen a spike in their latest quarterly earning statement, that they attribute to the patronage of the Louisville Tysons. MCL, which is known for its buffet style dining that caters to senior citizens with no taste buds and false teeth, has seen a spike in business whenever the Louisville Tysons hit an opponants city.

Elder Tyson Timothy Serra is the one responsible for the restaurant selection for Louisville, and he has made it known that the 38 veteran pitcher likes his mashed potatoes and peas without any flavor. "I've been in the league for years, and when I visit another town all I want is some salisbury steak, mashed potatoes, and some peas. At the MCL I can get all of those and not have to worry about being recognized by my legions of fans, since the place is almost always empty, or filled with seniors who have dementia."

Fellow Tysons Dallas Kline, Vitas Newman, Julio Bennett, Bob Sears, Pat Barber, and Roosevelt Lowell are also big fans of the MCL. Said Sears, "If it's good enough for Serra and his grandparents, it's good enough for me. I've eaten enough steaks at Shulas to last a lifetime, I just want to go somewhere I don't have to worry about any young whippersnappers messing with my meal, or my dentures (when he eventually has to wear them)."

The few young players on the Tysons aren't too happy about the selection of the MCL as the official Louisville Tyson restaurant of choice, but are willing to go along with their captains decisions. Alfonso Vega, the youngest Tyson, said that "When I am captain, we will be eating at the Hard Rock Cafe, not the MCL. I want to eat somewhere cool, and the MCL is definately not it. It is emabarrassing being the only person in there without coke bottle glasses. But I am still new to the league, and what Kline, Serra, and the gang say is law here in Louisville." But until Vega becomes captain of the Tysons, the MCL Cafeteria has a bright future for its earnings statements as the bulk of the Louisville lineup is ready for buffet line.

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