Interview with jvford

After exhaustive study and meticulous research, the Cobb Herald has recently learned that the Pawtucket G-Maniacs have recently gone through a change of ownership. How this coup d'etat managed to occur so stealthily may be a mystery forever. But, now that the deed has been exposed, it is the duty of this publication to reveal the heart and soul of this owner through a hard hitting interview to see just what make jvford tick.

Any advice for tdfactory – the newest member of the AL North?

-Don't worry about winning the division. It's perfectly acceptable to settle for a WC run when you're in a division with me.

If you are JVFord, when do you make varsity?

-Well, if I haven't made it by now, I don't really think I have much of a shot.

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

-Examical?

What is your favorite breakfast food and why should we care?

-Oatmeal. And nobody should care because it's what everyone eats for breakfast, right?

Which pitcher do you dread facing the most?

-Any of the Tampa starters.

Any Addictions, Disease or Other Destructive Behaviors?

-You mean besides HBD? I guess my enjoyment of options trading could qualify as an addiction.

Did Jesus get as tired of Tim Tebow as the rest of us or did he just suck Vs. New England?

-Actually, I think God's a football fan and got tired of Jesus screwing around with the game.

Hypothetical question. ' Say, there's something in a person's past that if it got out, would cause harm to certain football coaches at a large State University. Would it be wrong to place a wager against that team.....then file charges, or the other way around?'

-Based on the few times I tried it, any gambling on college football is wrong.

Can you comment on the rumor that you were “involved” in pieo’s disappearance this season?

-"Unless you have specific information backed up by irrefutable evidence, please refrain from discussing any possible involvement of my client in pieogate....or we may be forced to take legal action." -Johnnie Cochran, Jr. Attorney for jvford

Which Cobb owner have you trade-raped the most since joining this league?

-I think all of my deals were for high priced vets, so none of the deals look as good for me a few seasons later. But I did really like the deal for Dorian Woolf. Now if only I can acquire a stud 200 inning RP for a pupu platter. ;-)

You’re filling in you’re lineup card, who do you bat cleanup – Angelina Jolie? Or Scarlett Johanssen? And what position does she field?

-AJ.....and she pitches. Seems like she's a competitive bitch who's not afraid to throw inside. But I'd rather bang SJ.

Funaki spent virtually his entire career with the G-maniacs, hitting over 500 HR’s and achieving a career OPS of .888. What was the real cause of the breakup?

-He was looking for a LT deal and my stat guys told me his production was going to fall off drastically after this season. Sounds a little cold-hearted, but sometimes you have to make the tough decisions. I wish him luck.

Steamers move east

CLEVELAND (AP) -- A Cleveland judge has ratified a binding agreement between outgoing Steamers owner Pieo and his former wife Pia in their divorce case.
Superior Court Judge Scott Gordon on Thursday signed off on the settlement reached in November that calls for Pieo to pay his ex-wife $131 million by the end of April.
Pieo and Cobb Baseball agreed late last year that the Steamers and the team's media rights would be sold. The team filed for bankruptcy protection in December after the league rejected a television contract with Fox.
Among those who have expressed interest in buying the Steamers is a group that includes grissom97 who has already made arrangements to move the franchise to the east coast. Says new owner Grissom97, "This team and this city both need a fresh start, and that isn't going to happen as long as we remain in this community"
The franchise was welcomed at the Hartford airport by a strange man in a trenchcoat with a disturbing smile plastered on his face. The unidentified fan simply muttered a single phrase over and over again . . . "i can't believe he's finally gone . . . I can't believe he's finally gone . . ."

You Thieving Bastards!

Kiko B. Real - Cobb Times Herald

Steals, swipes, SB's, whatever you want to call them there are few players in Cobb world history who have been able to steal a base with regularity.  To date, there are only 5 members of the 800 club, all elite base stealing artists who have used the fine art of theft to record their place in history.  In honor of Charlie Erving's eventual move into the top spot this season, today we are profiling the five top base swipers in Cobb history.

5. Marc Reagan - 800 Stolen Bases

Marc Reagan none none Age: 37 B/T: L/L Born: Middle Island, NY Position(s): CF/CIF/2B/OF/DH View Hardball Dynasty Profile

Bugs Moran

When asked which famous thief he most identified himself with, Reagan chose the notorious 1920's gangster Bugs Moran.  "Of course Bugs Moran is my thieving idol," he said, "for crying out loud, Bugs was the inventor of the drive-by, I mean, can you think of any more allegorical term for base swiping?   He was the inspiration behind my trademarked machine gun spray celebration every time I stole a base.  And it is a testament to my tommy gun and base stealing abilities that I never ran out of bullets." 

Reagan spent the bulk of his career with the Jackson Pollocks, and stole a career best 87 bases in season 10.  He was never an all star at the ML level, but was a notorious clubhouse prankster, and a great teammate by all accounts.  "I remember the time he put itching powder all over Woody Oleruds bed (a notorious neat freak at the time) and told him that it was probably bedbugs.  That was a riot!," reminisced former Pollocks SP Tori Person.

4. Alfredo Cruz - 801 Stolen Bases

Alfredo Cruz none none Age: 35 B/T: L/L Born: Mineral, VA Position(s): LF/DH View Hardball Dynasty Profile

Al Capone

Cruz had a very quick answer when describing his favorite thief of all time.  "Al Capone, because he gunned down Bugs Moran," Cruz explained, "You see, I never liked Marc Reagan, especially that stupid tommy gun business.  There is no place for that on the baseball field.  I vowed I wouldn't retire until I was insurmountable in my stolen base total, and once I reached my goal of 801 steals, I did it.  Now he will always be looking up at me in the rankings." 

The mercurial Cruz, who spent only 7 seasons in the major leagues, is also the single season base stealing leader, posting 211 stolen bases in season 8, a number that will likely never be topped.  "He was kind of a jerk, but man could he run," remembered SP Ralph Hill of his days in Scranton with Cruz.  "I think he was kind of offended by players like Marc Reagan showing off and thinking they were all that, when he was busy doubling their stolen base totals."  Cruz ultimately tired of playing baseball after being played at 1B for several seasons and then being demoted to the minors for "not posting a high enough OPS" by what he called the "idiot Bill James Moneyball Bastards" in the front office of the Philadelphia franchise at the time.

3. Al Rosario - 842 Stolen Bases (Active)

Al Rosario Pawtucket G-Maniacs Age: 34 B/T: L/L Born: Millers Creek, NC Position(s): RF/1B/LF/DH View Hardball Dynasty Profile

Robin Hood

Rosario likes to compare himself to Robin Hood when it comes to thieves.  "I really like him because not only did he steal for good and all that stuff, but he was more than just a thief.  He was a ladies man with Maid Marian, could shoot a mean longbow, and used to be a knight under King Richard.  I would like to think of myself as a baseball version of that, I can do many things on the field, not just steal bases."

Indeed, Rosario is more than just a base stealing threat, having popped nearly 300 HR's in his career, is a 4 time all star, World Series Champion, and former Silver Slugger RF. His top basestealing year though came in Iowa City during season 14 when he pilfered 93 bases for the Corn Dogs.  He is still plying his trade for the Pawtucket G-Maniacs, and while his speed has slowed down, (only 50 SB's last season) he is still a very productive bat and veteran presence in the G's lineup. 

2. Charlie Erving - 881 Stolen Bases (Active)

Charlie Erving San Francisco Earthquakes Age: 33 B/T: R/R Born: Hatch, NM Position(s): 2B/CIF/OF/DH View Hardball Dynasty Profile

Kaiser Söze

Erving is primed and ready to take over the top spot in Cobb all time stolen bases, needing only 7 more to reach that lofty height.  He compares himself to Kaiser Söze, saying, "You never know I have stolen a base until you look over to 1st and see that I am already gone."  Indeed, Erving is the best base stealer to date in Cobb, and still has several years of good baseball left in him.  "It is my goal to steal 1000 bases, and become the first player in Cobb history to reach that mark," Erving also remarked.

His Earthquake teammates describe Erving as a humble and quiet fellow, but fiercely driven.  "I came up through the system with him at the same time, and if it weren't for the fact that you could see him you would never know he is standing there," said teammate Andres Tatis of Erving, "He's a pretty complex fellow though, he watches foreign films and stuff like that, and even reads the Guardian.  I mean, what other baseball player do you know that reads a British newspaper?"  The multiple all star and silver slugger might not let you know it, but he certainly respects the milestone he is about the reach, and the man who currently owns it.


1. Emmanuel Castillo - 888 Stolen Bases

Emmanuel Castillo none none Age: 37 B/T: R/R Born: Bani, DO Position(s): LF/1B/DH View Hardball Dynasty Profile

Pancho Villa

When it comes to base stealing threats, there has been nobody in Cobb like Hall of Famer Emmanuel Castillo.  One of the greatest leadoff men to play the game, Castillo compared himself to Pancho Villa, the Mexican revolutionary general.  "I would like to think of myself as a great man, such as Villa, a hero to his people, who fought for what was right, and was a noble thief.  I stole the bases for the good of my team, but would do whatever it took to win, that was my role, just as Villa," said Castillo. 

Indeed, Castillo may soon be surpassed by Erving at the top of the list, but it will take some doing for Erving to surpass Castillo as a leadoff man and historical threat.  In addition to his stolen bases (4 seasons with 100 or more), Castillo scored 1,639 runs, was a 4 time all star, and a World Champion.  "Emmanuel was a class act," said former Corn Cleat teammate Ben Harris, "and as good a player to play the game as there was.  Having him and Marino Sierra at the top of the order was something to see, it was like watching two cheetahs flying around out there on the bases!" 

When asked about Eving breaking his record, Castillo was contemplative, "It will be hard to lose my place at the top, but time passes and the game changes, and it was bound to happen eventually.  Really though I am just glad it wasn't Marc Reagan, that tommy gun business was bush league, and Erving is a class act."

Season 21 World Series Preview

Lars the Greek - Special to Cobb Times Herald

Lars the Greek is back from his hiking trip into Afghanistan and subsequent 4 year imprisonment in Iran to offer you the Season 21 World Series preview.  This year we have the slightly above average NL East champ Wichita Wankers versus the AL West champ Tacoma Jerry Gang in a battle of fighting 4 seed wildcard warriors.  Both teams have ridden some stellar playoff play to the title round, and one lucky owner will end their long suffering playoff drought, as between these two there have been four previous World Series appearances with no hardware to show for it.  So who will lose the least and luck into their title?  Read on and find out!


Wichita Wankers
--The Wankers certainly didn't expect to be in this position, as they announced a rebuilding effort at the start of the season, and traded star Dorian Woolf at the trading deadline for prospects.  Yet some potent weapons still remain on the team, first and foremost SP Davey Silva.  Once again the future HOFer has been unhittable in the playoffs, and has been able to help dominate a short series to get Wichita to the final round.  If he can get support from just one other pitcher it is possible he could win three games all by himself.  In the lineup there certainly has been an unexpected hero in George Sears, who has been on fire in the playoffs, supporting Carlton Nelson and Vic Flores admirably.  But it has really been a group effort for the Wankers, with nobody outside of Silva and Sears truly distinguishing themselves. 


Tacoma Jerry Gang
--The Jerry Gang have proven their mettle in this playoff year, defeating the always tough Cleveland Steamers and the up and coming KC Seether on the way to the finals.  Juan Javier has been a house of fire for the lineup, with 6 HR's and 17 RBI's, and is clearly the driving force for run production for the offense.  The pitching has been led by a balanced rotation featuring no pitcher with more then 2 wins.  But Al Gomez certainly could have had some more with better run support, has he has posted a 1.00 ERA and a .81 WHIP in 27 IP in the playoffs, but with only 2 wins to show for it.  He has been unhittable and could be the foil to Silva. 

Lars Key to the Series
--On paper Tacoma has the better lineup, and Lars thinks that will show over time.  But Wichita has Davey Silva, whose numbers speak for themselves.  A lot will be asked of the Wichita ace if he is to earn his first World Series ring.  All it takes is one loss and suddenly Tacoma will be in the drivers seat regarding pitching matchups.  Silva has to be perfect, and if he is Wichita will win.  If not, the Wankers will be looking on as Tacoma denies them their championship for the fourth time. 

Lars Crystal Ball
--Lars wants to say that the Tacoma Jerry Gang will win, as their team is clearly more talented top to bottom.  But something about the Wankers this season is shining a bright beacon through his crystal ball.  The Wankers cannot be denied, and this is the year they will finally win, proving yet again in Cobb that a wild card team can be deadly in the playoffs.  Wankers in 6.

Commish vs ex-Commish: HOF Smackdown II

It would be reasonable to ask – why do we need yet another catcher in the Hall of Fame? However, while Eddie Helms is a guy who may not have the flashy home run totals of Jones and Stanton, he was clearly a dominant force in his day, at his position and he has a World Series ring to show for it. On top of that, his career average of .320 is far and away better than Jones .280 and Stanton’s .267. Helms’ OPS of .937 is clearly superior to Jones’ and Stanton’s .906 and .862, respectively. Oh, and there’s this little thing called defense, fairly important for a catcher apparently. Helms has a superior CERA to either Stanton or Jones and threw out a higher percentage of baserunners than Stanton. It’s no coincidence that at the “helm” of the Anaheim Sharks, Eddie led the charge to playoff appearances in 10 of 13 seasons, but the Sharks have only done better than 3rd in their division once since his departure in S16. For serious students of the game, this really shouldn’t be a question.

Eddie Helms none none Age: 39 B/T: R/R Born: Sonora, TX Position(s): C/DH View Hardball Dynasty Profile

Eddie Helms isn't a name that most people in Cobb are familiar with, and there is a good reason why. It's because he wasn't one of the best catchers to ever play the game, merely one of the good ones. If Patrick Stanton and Vernon Jones saw that Helms was elected to join their number in the Hall, I am pretty sure they would have to send a beatdown committee to visit the voters who put him there. Simply look at the awards, 6 AS appearances to Jones and Stantons 8; 3 Silver Sluggers to Jones and Stantons 4, less runs, hits, RBI, and HR's in similar games played. Quite simply, Helms just doesn't measure up to Jones and Stanton, who are the gauge by which all catchers in Cobb should be measured when being considered for the Hall of Fame.

Commish v. ex-Commish: HOF Smackdown

Part I of a two part series to inform and educate around a couple potential HOF candidates. Feel free to comment for either case! (Especially mine!)

First on the block: Marino Sierra

Marino Sierra none none Age: 39 B/T: L/L Born: Puerto Piritu, VE Position(s): LF/1B/DH View Hardball Dynasty Profile

FW - For all you young Turks out there who may not have been around the league during the good old days of seasons 1 through 10, you might not be familiar with Marino Sierra, who along with Fred McConnell was perhaps the most feared leadoff man in the early days of Cobb. At the time of his retirement he had nearly 2500 hits, hit for high average and got on base at an impressive clip, scored over 1,600 runs, was the all time leader in doubles at 578, hit nearly 300 HR's, and had over 500 SB's. When you take into consideration that he did this playing over half of his games in the pitchers parks in Omaha and Sioux Falls, those numbers have more meaning. Furthermore, his 529 stolen bases are even more impressive because before season 8, the SIM engine hideously lowered the amount of stolen bases by players in HBD. If Sierra had played in modern times, he would have been a 80+ base swiper every season. He may have never won an MVP, but when you are in your prime and play the same position in the same league as the legendary Jose Barrios, MVP's just aren't going to go your way. Despite this, Sierra still managed 6 AS appearances and 2 Silver Slugger LF's at the same time Barrios was manning that position! Don't hold it against Sierra that he was in his prime when the SIM engine and Jose Barrios were trying to keep him down, he's one of the all time greats of the early days of Cobb and deserves to be in the Hall of Fame. Furthermore, and on a serious note, there isn't a single leadoff man in the Cobb Hall of Fame currently, and that is a trend that needs to change. Just because a player hasn't hit 500 home runs doesn't mean he doesn't deserve a spot. Players like Sierra and McConnell have earned their place.

dwool - Oh, Nate. You lovable hayseed. Sure Sierra was good, but this is the Hall of Fame, not the Hall of Very Good. At the end of the day we need to ask ourselves, was this player elite? A champion? In his era, was he a dominant force at his position? And here my friend, we have to acknowledge a couple key points, first NO RINGS. As good as he was, he didn’t pick his team up, put them on his broad, manly shoulders and carry them to the promised land. Second, there are a couple gentlemen by the names of Jose Cervantes and Hades Booker who also patrolled the outfield in the early days of Cobb, who are patiently waiting for the call – and both are flashing World Series rings and similar or better OPS. Once those guys are in, let me know and I’ll give Sierra another look.

Rounding Second and Heading for Third

The last installment of beat reporter wihargo's FA analysis centers on potentially available second and third basemen. When bidding, always remember, fortune favors the bold!

Brad Mann is surrounded by questions this offseason: will his glove force a move off of 2B? will he be the next player to receive the max deal? The answer in both cases depends on how much teams value his elite bat.

Angel Vazquez still has good plate discipline and might have one more useful season in him. Lynn Curtis is a dependable defender at 3B and effective against LHP.

Mark Bigbie, still looking to recover his power stroke, might decide to go out on top and retire after winning the World Series.

Brad Mann 0.403 5.69
Angel Vazquez 0.340 2.89
Frank Hartgraves 0.336 2.64
Lynn Curtis 0.344 2.53
John McGowan 0.330 2.36
Jack Carpenter 0.328 2.25
Joel Valentin 0.317 1.71
Garret Wells 0.280 1.47
Giomar Julio 0.314 1.41
Mark Bigbie 0.293 1.37
Wilfredo Henriquez 0.311 0.96