Saturday, May 24, 2008

Hillbillies Owner Makes Guarantee

Chuck Biscuits - Cobb Times Herald

The confident owner of the Huntington Hillbillies, krs96, guaranteed that his team would make the playoffs this season and next, as he is sure his young talent will slug their way to the post-season. "Have to show the young kids I trust in their ability and will take the bullet for them. Mark it down in the paper now my guarantees," said krs96. Furthermore he invited "Food Head" Chuck Biscuits down to Hillbillie country to get his words in print, so the Times Herald took the opportunity to drive down to the land of banjos and coal mines to ask fans and players what they thought of their owners arrogant claims.

"I think it's great that he's willing to take a bullet for me," said Hillbillie 2B Craig Lake, "I would hate to have something as frivolous as a slug ruin my otherwise perfect health." Reacting to krs96's prediction that, "
we will lead the league in runs scored yes we will make the playoffs and watch out for the hillbillies once the playoffs start," Catcher Jung Lee seemed to be happy with the prediction, saying, "I am glad that krs96 is putting his mouth where his money is, our team can hit the ball hard, and rest of the league are a bunch of pansies."

Fan Jim Bob Jethro McCoy was happy with the guarantees, "Well I'll be done happy
that krs96 said we was goin' to git er done, that's for dang darn sure!" Fellow fan Mabel Hatfield also was a bit more skeptical, "What in tarnation was he thinkin bout? Just cuz those boys of his can hit a ball from here to the holler don't mean they can make the playoffs. You gotta get some pitching too, by jiminy!"

"Food Head" Chuck Biscuits may not scare the Hillbillies with his pen and pad, but their owner's boisterous claims on the message board should, as it is a well documented fact that there is a jinx associated with braggart claims within the league. It remains to be seen if the Hillbillies make the playoffs, so look for a follow-up later in the season, when the Hillbillies either back up their owners smack talk, or run with their tails between their legs back to the mountains.

2 comments:

SenorPloppie said...

nate - how did you get my picture ?

Bibliotron said...

You can't stop the Times Herald's intrepid photography staff!