Thursday, May 8, 2008

Nuns on the Rampage in Fargo!

Chuck Biscuits - Cobb Times Herald

This time the nuns have had enough. After a particularly brutal draft in which the Fug Nuts picked 21 pitchers in their 25 picks, and none of them being of any real quality, the sisters of St. Scholastica Abbey let their frustrations be known to Fargo GM Cleatus Ploppie. "I'll raise the Holy Ghost up in his house to get a good draft pick!" intoned Sister Aquanetta Lung in a righteous fury. "He needs to have his wrists slapped one time for each embarrassing pick, and then stood in front of the rest of his front office in a dunce cap to make an example of how not to act," explained Abbess Lecivia Vice.

Being big fans of the Fug Nuts, the sisters often pray before each game for a Fargo victory, and were thrilled to the dickens when the Nuts won the World Series in season 6. But like flames from a burning bush, memories flicker and die quickly when mistakes like the Fug Nuts draft are made. "I don't know how many rosaries Ploppie would have to pray to atone for this mess of a draft," said a penitent Sister Libby Ido. But the word of the Lord is clear in this regard, The Fug Nuts need to have a better draft next season or there will be hell to pay.

1 comment:

SenorPloppie said...

Going to Catholic Schools 1-12 and a Catholic College (Sacred Heart University) nuns scare the crap out of me. They used to beat the daylights with pointers and rulers.