Buster Gunns - Cobb Times Herald
In an astounding show of bravado, St. Louis HoundDogs owner rbf_4 made the bold statement today that his team was better than any outside of the NL East, and that he was confident that his bullpen was the tops in the league. Furthermore, rbf_4 went on to state that, "he is not to worried about making the playoffs," a remarkable show of chutzpah in a division that boasts 4 teams with 30+ wins at this early point in the season. The St. Louis owner took it a step further by also stating that he was greater than Muhammad Ali, Mother Theresa, Gandhi, Hercules, Serpentor, Optimus Prime, Franklin Delano Roosevelt, Abe Lincoln, George Washington, and Jesus all combined. "I think they should just blow up Mt. Rushmore and start over with four different views of my beatific visage," said rbf_4.
This incredible show of self promotion awestruck even the most hardened arrogant asses the world has seen, with respectful comments coming in from Terrell Owens to Mahmoud Ahmedinejad. Said Owens, "I am the greatest football player who ever lived, but that statement is bigger than anything my agent ever forbid me from saying!" A missive from Iran's Supreme Leader read, "If rbf_4 were able to work for our great cause of becoming a nuclear power and wiping the United States off the face of the planet I know that the glorious nation of Iran would have no equal!"
Indeed, many around the league were impressed and amazed by the sheer audacity of rbf_4's comments, and have circled the dates on their league schedules in anticipation of facing the nigh invincible HoundDogs. "I can't wait to put a Cesar Milan style pack leader beatdown on those puppies," said a miffed Kazuhiro Ong, "St. Louis are not the champs until they go through Omaha, and besides, everyone in the league knows that me and Barrios are already the best."