Thursday, December 27, 2007

Franchise Flip-Floppers Flee First Cities!

Tito McQueen - Cobb Times Herald

Baseball returned to Vancouver and Philadelphia with franchise relocations. The citizens of Cheyenne and St. Louis were left out in the cold as ftpbuck's Warhawks became the Vancouver Vultures, and phillyfan33's Silver Sluggers turned into the Philadelphia Floppin' Phils. Sources close to the Warhawks/Vultures franchise say the move was made in part to dominate the Canadian market, and that franchise owner ftpbuck is fond of alliteration, which was hard to do with Cheyenne.

Residents of Vancouver are very excited about new franchise mascot, Vincent Von Vulture, who was renowned for his crazy antics with the A ball franchise in Vancouver during the interim between major league teams. Known for jumping tricycles through rings of fire, and hugging little babies without making them cry, Vincent should do a lot to keep attendance up should the baseball Vultures begin to fade over the season.

In Philadephia the fans are ready for a team that will win more than 29 games, the Cobb World mark of futility set by the Philadephia Liberty in season 2. Baseball fan Sal Lovecchio of Philadelphia said, "If they don't win more than 60 games, I'm bringing my potato gun to the game to let the manager know what I think. I'm sick of crap teams in this town!" There is no word yet if a mascot has been recruited for the Floppin' Phils, but prospects are dim as the job posting did not list life or health insurance benefits.

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