Chuck Biscuits - Cobb Times Herald
The Jackson Pollocks have announced their promotional schedule for season 7, and without a doubt the highlight is Squidvicious Presents Sid Vicious night at Boon Stadium. Retired professional wrestler and master of the powerbomb "Psycho" Sid Vicious will be in the house on opening day to sign autographs, pump the team and fans up, and perhaps teach them a few moves. "I thought that this might be a good way to reach out to our fan base in Mississippi, where pro wrestling remains popular despite all of the steroid scandals," said the Pollocks PR Manager.
As part of the promotion, the first 3000 fans will get a Sid Vicious bobblehead. One lucky fan will also be drawn to compete against Mr. Vicious in a strongman contest during the seventh inning stretch for the chance to win season tickets.
In addition Pitching Coach Rex Simpson was lobbying to get Sid Vicious to teach the staff how to properly execute the powerbomb in the event they get charged while on the mound by opposing hitters. "I would much rather have a Kyle Farnsworth than a Paul Wilson on the mound, if you know what I mean," said Simpson.
The Pollocks PR manager also said that it is a shame that Sex Pistols frontman Sid Vicious was dead, because "he would have performed one heck of a national anthem." In addition to Sid Vicious night, other notable promotions include Polish Sausage night, Abstract Expressionist Pizza and Paint night, and a pre-game Pork Rind professional eating contest.