Monday, December 17, 2007

NL Awards Announced!

--Buster Gunns, special to the Cobb Times Herald

The season 6 awards were annuonced yesterday at head offices of Cobb World Commisioner daubs23. There were some surprises, some close races, and a bit of controversy thrown in for good measure.

Winning the NL MVP for the second time was Louisville Tyson SS Dallas Kline. In addition to picking up his second MVP, Kline also added to his considerably large trophy shelf by picking up a Silver Slugger award and his first Gold Glove at the SS position, to go along with the GG he won last year for 3B. When asked how he felt about his monty haul of awards, Kline had this to say, "Awards mean nothing, all I want is a championship. I would trade all of the bling in my trophy case for a world series ring, you had better believe that!"

Co-Runners up Jose Barrios of Omaha and Vernon Jones of Sioux Falls were vocal in their desire for the MVP. Barrios exclaimed, "All I do is hit homer after homer, drive in run after run. I crush the ball, and crush it every day. I take my Flintstones Vitamins, and all I get is 7 votes?" Corn Cleat catcher Jones was a bit more sympathetic, "Hey man, I had my best season ever, and caught a pretty good game to boot, but Dallas is a real pro, and SS isn't a picnic to play. He deserves the award, but you better look out for next year cause I'll be back!" 4th place finisher Kenny Blair of Syracuse was left in the cold with only 3 votes. "I have got to get out of Syracuse or get a new agent," said Blair, "I am seriously getting killed by the lack of publicity. I bring it just as hard as any of those other guys."

On the mound there was no contest as Louisville Tyson ace David Rosado picked up his first Cy Young award. Getting 21 votes to win over runner up Alex Nunez's 5, Rosado deseverdly claimed the trophy. "Nunez may have gone undefeated, but everyone knows that Rosado is the best," Rosado said, "I have filthy stuff, it is so nasty that you cannot hope to clean it up!" His stats backed up his claim as he led the league in almost every category. Embittered Fug Nut Nunez was not so praising of Rosado, "All I did was go UNDEFEATED, and still everybody wants to put Rosado on a box of Wheaties? What more do I have to do, hit the ball like Kline or Barrios? Perhaps I should start creating a cure for cancer."

In the other awards Fargo Fug Nut closer Kirk White picked up the Rookie of the year in a close race over Tyson 1B Walter Stewart and Corn Cleat SP Glenn Nye. Omaha Slugger closer Sean Hill picked up another Fireman of the Year award, and the gold gloves and silver sluggers went out to all of the usual suspects.

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