Tito McQueen - Cobb Times Herald
In what may be the most extravagant contract awarded this offseason, Andres Liriano signed with the Toledo Tsunamis for a whopping 5 years and 37.5 million dollars. The utility player had ended the previous season on the Tsunamis AAA squad, after bouncing back and forth between the majors and minors for the last few seasons. The career .290 hitter was pleased with his contract, saying, "If I were Sir Mix-A-Lot, I would be rapping about liking Big Bucks, because I do, I like them very much." He continued, "With this money I will be able to move my family out of the barrio and into a secure compound in the Dominican, where they will be safe from roving gangs and Chupacabra."
There were signs at the beginning of free agency that Liriano would be a hard sign for any team looking to ink him to a contract when he refused to negotiate with the Tsunamis, saying, "I'm filing for free agency no matter what. Sorry." But the mountain of cash thrown at him by Toledo changed his mind regarding his employer fairly quickly. "We figured that a player of Liriano's stature needed to be in Toledo to raise the perception of our franchise and our great city," said Tsunami PR official Zeke Blauveldt. Tsunami fans were a bit more skeptical of the contract. "What the hell were they thinking?" asked fan Charles Widmore, "I love Liriano as much as the next guy, but if he was on our AAA team last year how is he worth 7 million a year? Maybe Toledo can give me a 3 million signing bonus to work their hot dog stand, that sounds about right!" Still, talent scouts think Liriano has a shot at being a very productive big leaguer, and his eye at the plate is second to none. Now it just remains to be seen if he can justify his contract with his performance on the field.