Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Rico Estrada - I'm the Coolest of the Cool!

Buster Gunns - Cobb Times Herald

Rico Estrada
New York
Age: 28B/T: R/R
Born: Santa Teresa, VE
Position(s): SS
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New York Titans Shortstop Rico Estrada was named the "Coolest Player in Cobb World" in a recent Times Herald poll. Estrada won by a very large margin, doubling the vote total of the nearest competitors, Jose Barrios and Kazuhiro Ong. "Now nobody can doubt my cool," said the suave Titan, continuing, "Put the league on notice, if you want to get with the ladies, you have to get behind Rico." Fellow NY Titans were pleased with the result, and attested to his coolness. "Rico is so damn cool, just being near him allows people to overlook my hideous soul patch," said Titans IF P.T. Turner. Other players around the league were also in awe of Rico's coolness. "If we had Rico on our team, I have no doubt we would win in the playoffs, he's just too cool to lose!" exclaimed perrenial playoff loser Vance Weaver of the Sioux Falls Corn Cleats.

Many people around the league theorize that Rico's shades are the secret to his coolness. "Maybe if I had his shades in addition to my Snidely Whiplash mustache, I would be cooler," mused Mexico City ace Eric Collins. But not all players were thrilled with the coronation of Estrada as the King of Cool. "What the hell? I wasn't even on that damn ballot! It's a sham vote," griped Chicago Sabercats 1B Kip Zeile. Also unpleased was Kaz Ong, who finished behind Estrada in the voting, who explained, "Just because I am capable of applying advanced physics and particle theory to my overwhelming pitching force doesn't mean that the derivitives of said applications deter from my coolness. I'm hip!"

Seizing on his coolness victory, Estrada is rumored to be creating a signature line of shades to market along with his signature glove, bat, shoes, gloves, beans and rice, power strips, highlighter markers, and teddy bears.

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