Wednesday, March 26, 2008

New Titans in Town

Tito McQueen - Cobb Times Herald

There are some new Titans in town, and there names aren't Cronos, Atlas, and Typhon, but Estrada, Leyritz, and Duran. The New York Titans forever alienated the fans of Boston when the former Heat franchise packed up their bags and left town in the middle of the night to move to the Big Apple. Fans in Boston were furious, and were considering filing a lawsuit with the Commissioner's Office. "I don't know what I am going to do now that the Heat are gone, all that is left in Boston during the summer is Lobster fishing and Car Talk on NPR. That's no way to live," said angry fan Marty O'Houlihan. "That owner furniss is a ****in ****!" yelled infuriated fan Hal Halloran. "If the Heat ever come back here, we'll **** them up!" screamed positively enraged fan Liam Loughlin.

Meanwhile the fans in New York were absolutely thrilled to get a winning AL team, after several years of watching the lovable losers of the NY Brokers. Excited fan Mike Lovecchio exclaimed, "Not only do we get a winning team, but we get to stick it to those losers in Boston. Sweet!" Indeed the mood was bright all over New York as the city welcomed it's newest team. A ticker tape parade was being planned for opening day, and Rico Estrada bobbleheads are already on order.

When asked how this would affect the fan base of the National League Pick Pockets, the common reaction from fans was, "Who are the Pick Pockets?," or, "We have an NL team?" Pick Pocket PR director Karl Wasserman issued a statement saying, "We look forward to having the Titans in New York, and to make sure that people realize that we play baseball as well as any American League team, we are doubling our advertising dollars to $32.46." The common opinion was that with the Brokers being a sleepy team, the Pick Pockets could grab the fans in this traditionally AL city, but they will have a harder time this season claiming a portion of the fan base.

As for the owner of the Heat, furniss13 was unavailable for comment at the time of the article, but the team issued a statement saying, "The NY Titans organization is thrilled to be playing in such a great city, and we hope that our park will be a big attraction to the local fans. As for our former fans in Boston, we enjoyed our stay, but with cable TV budgets being what they were, Boston just couldn't compete. Look for Titan TV, Titan Radio, and Titan Internet Media to be all over the NY airwaves soon!"

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