Omahalics Ready for Series

Buster Gunns - Cobb Times Herald

The fans in Omaha are ready for the teams first appearance in the World Series. Local leaders are declaring this week "Sluggers Week" in preparation for the games. Mayor Mike Fahey has given local government employees time off during the afternoon games to support the Sluggers. He exclaimed, "I'm not going to be in the office, I don't see why anyone else should either!" Local bars are also snapping at the opportunity by sponsoring "Omahalics Anonymous" meetings where patrons can sample the beers and big screen TV's of many downtown establishments. Slugger superfan Jan Karl Gesink said, "We are ready, Omaha is ready, The Sharks are going down! Sluggers rule, Sharks drool! Recognize!" The rest of the assembled fans were too drunk to give a coherent quote.