Thursday, March 20, 2008

NL Awards - The Usual Suspects

Armando Verdugo - Cobb Times Herald

Award winners were announced today at the Cobb World commissioners office, and there were no surprises in the bunch. Jose Barrios of the Omaha Sluggers won another MVP, Kazuhiro Ong of the Sluggers won another Cy Young, Wichita Wanker Milt Serafini ran away with the Rookie of the Year award, and Sioux Falls Corn Cleat Shane Parrish won the Fireman of the Year award.

Jose Barrios
Age: 28B/T: L/L
Born: Darillo, NI
Position(s): LF/1B/2B/RF/DH
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In bringing home his third MVP, and his second in the NL, Barrios reaffirmed his status as a future hall of famer, and avenged last years perceived snub, when he finished second to Louisville Tyson Dallas Kline. Barrios clubbed a phenomenal 69 HR's, had 178 RBI's, batted .300, and collected 95 walks. The award voting wasn't even close as the second place finisher, Corn Cleat Hades Booker, had only 6 votes to Barrios' 16. "I kept hitting homer after homer, kept taking my Flintstones vitamins, and I never gave up. Now I am MVP, where I belong," said a justifiably cocky Barrios. "I had a good year, but Jose was the man, and not only killed the ball but led his team to the World Series, he deserves it," said runner up Booker.

Kazuhiro Ong
Age: 27B/T: R/R
Born: Osaka, JP
Position(s): P (SP1)
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In the Cy Young race there was absolutely no doubt as Ong totally dominated the competition, winning with 23 votes to second place Tysons Talmadge Young's 4 votes. Ong finished with a 23-7 record, a 2.72 ERA, a 1.07 WHIP, and 276 K's. "I was so good, my agent says I should legally change my name to Cy Young," said the Japanese international. He continued, "Big ups to my peeps back in Osaka, and hollaz to my Harajuku girls and rockabilly dancer fans in Yoyogi Park!" His agent shuffled him away before he could say anything else.

Milt Serafini
Age: 27B/T: S/R
Born: Days Creek, OR
Position(s): 1B
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In the Rookie of the Year competition Serafini beat out fellow Wankers Tony Cho and Grant Keats, Seattle Seacow Wesley Hull, and Durham Pitbull star Louie Tarraga. It was a closer competition, but Serafini still more than doubled his next closest contender, with 15 votes to Hull's 7. Serafini was the NL batting champ, hitting .356 with 36 HR's and 122 RBI's. "This is a great individual honor for me, and I hope that our team can build on it next season and win the division," said a humbled Serafini.

Shane Parrish
Sioux Falls
Corn Cleats
Age: 25B/T: R/R
Born: Lexington, MO
Position(s): P (ClA)
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Parrish won the Fireman of the Year Award for the first time, finishing with 39 saves in 42 chances. He also recorded an ERA of 2.18, with a WHIP of .96 in 78.1 innings of work. He also struck out 96 batters. Sean Hill of the Sluggers finished second. "I had a great regular season, but unfortunately I couldn't carry it over into the playoffs. If I could have replicated that success vs. Louisville I would be a happier guy right now. Still, it's a big honor and I am thrilled to receive it," said Parrish.

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